Heavy in Your Arms
by afamiliarsmile
Summary: Previously titled An Accident. After Bad Reputation. JesseQuinn centric. Quinn forgets something in the choir room and it leads to an encounter with someone she wouldn't expect to find.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**: I'm not really sure what I was thinking with this one shot. I blame it on four things. One, my love for my two favorite characters. Two, my inability to sleep. Three, my caffeine buzz. Four, my buzz from having just watched Iron Man 2.

_Started 5/9/10 around 2 AM. Finished 5/9/10 around 4 AM._

I'm obsessed with the idea of this pairing. I'll probably write more with these two.

As for this story in particular, I'm not sure if I will continue it or leave it as it is. I'll let you all decide.

Leave me a review and let me know what you think!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Glee!

Quinn Fabray never really wanted to leave school when the final bell of the day rang. Sure, it didn't make much sense. Her life at the high school was pretty much a living hell. But if she said that out loud she sounded all melodramatic. She sounded like Rachel. Because even though she knew she had it bad compared to some kids, she knew she didn't have it quite as horrible as others. That was how Quinn liked to think about it. On a good day that is. Other times she allowed herself to swim in her own misery. It wasn't like it ever made anything better but it was nice to just cry every now and then. Because, though she hadn't admitted it, she was scared. She fought her fright every moment of her life. Perhaps that could explain her after school situations.

She never left when the school day was through. She couldn't bring herself to leave right away. She figured it was that last bit of having been a Cheerio that wouldn't leave. She figured she was so used to staying after for either cheer or glee that she still hadn't adapted to having freedom after school. So maybe that was why she always found herself wandering among the halls, still feeling invisible even when the only people that populated the area were those that didn't have lives or just had too much on their plate. Even to the lowest of the food chain she was invisible. What had happened to her? She still didn't understand how she could have fallen so far.

As she walked past the doors of the gym she could hear Sue's voice over a megaphone. Despite the fact that she was no longer a Cheerio, her former coach's voice still made her freeze in place. She flicked a strand of blonde hair away from her eyes and turned toward the door keeping her out of the gym. She could almost picture herself there with them if she really tried. She could see herself standing among the other cheerleaders, arms clasped in front of her, brushing against a uniform that still managed to fit. She could see the stoic expression on her face though she knew the irritation was probably present in her eyes if not her facial expression or posture. When someone joins the Cheerios the first thing they learn is to rid themselves of the ability to show any sort of emotion in Sue Sylvester's presence.

Quinn had to physically shake her head to eliminate the thoughts playing across her mind. Thinking about the Cheerios still hurt. It was a tender spot that she wasn't sure would ever really fade until she was actually out of high school. Until then she was positive it would always sting. After all she was forced to see the uniforms every day. On an off day she was positive she could hear them mocking her. Although some days they actually were mocking her. Half the time Quinn pretended like she didn't hear them. Because although she was, mostly, broken she still managed to hold her chin high. She figured if she acted like what they said didn't affect her that they would stop. Somehow it never actually worked out the way she wanted it to.

It was in those moments that she actually felt some sort of sympathy for Rachel Berry. That girl had to put up with this on a daily basis. And, to make the situation worse, she had been putting up with it since she had set foot in McKinley. Quinn had never really imagined the humiliation of being slushied. She had always laughed, just like all the rest of them had. But then she had fallen victim to the cruel act. That was the first time she glimpsed into the life of Rachel. It only got worse from there. Now even she had pornographic pictures of her drawn along the bathroom stalls. Different people added to the pictures in various shades of ink. The latest one finally showed her pregnancy. Basically, as she would later sum up, she was walking in Rachel's shoes and it was giving her blisters.

Lately though she realized how much she disliked the girl. She had her days. She did honestly feel grateful for Rachel telling Finn. She was too much of a coward to do it herself. But it still stung. At one point Finn had looked at her like she was a goddess. Now though, he barely glanced her way. Rachel had been with Puck too, her current arm candy of sorts. Quinn would be lying if she didn't admit that she had caught Puck glancing at the sophomore's legs especially those days where her skirts seemed extra short. Plus it wasn't just her legs that he was admiring.

Quinn visibly shuddered just a little. Her arms were bare and the air seemed cooler than usual. She wasn't sure if the shudder had been her reaction to the temperature or the reaction to how long she had been thinking about Rachel Berry of all people. After deliberating for awhile she suspected it was for both reasons and before she really knew what possessed her she was heading toward the direction of her locker. She had been lurking around the halls longer than usual. If she stayed any longer she might have reached a creeper status. That is, if anyone saw her. Which would be very probable considering, if she remembered correctly, Sue would let the Cheerios have their one minute bathroom break in about five minutes.

Her footsteps seemed louder than usual. Then again, they were bound to. The hallway always seemed to provide an echo when one was alone in it. But she concentrated on the sound of her feet against the floor as she walked toward her locker until she was standing in front of the familiar sight. Her fingers were already working on the combination when she shivered again and she pulled the door open. She felt a frown tugging at her lips. Her cardigan wasn't there like she had hoped. She sighed with mild irritation before grabbing the two text books she would need for homework tonight and slammed her locker door shut. Perhaps that was a bit much. She blamed it on her more than usual thoughts directed at Rachel. Even subconsciously the girl's diva fits were rubbing off on her.

It took Quinn a full five seconds to realize where she probably left her forgotten piece of clothing. The choir room always seemed a little bit toasty after learning new choreography. It wasn't so much that it was strenuous work, because their choreography was relatively light. It was the fact that having so many bodies crammed into a room after a while led to, well, body heat. Even now she could remember taking off the cardigan and placing it next to the chair she almost always sat in. She hoped that Schuester was still somewhere in the building. Maybe not necessarily the choir room, but his office or something. If he was that would mean the choir room was still open. If not then Quinn would have to wait until Monday to retrieve her belongs and she honestly didn't want to wait that long.

With the idea of time in her mind she set off just a little bit faster toward the room. In the distance she could hear the gym doors opening. The sound was followed by frantic footsteps of teenage, overworked girls trying to fight their way to a bathroom before they heard an angry voice through a megaphone. Quinn wondered if that could have been one of the reasons her speed increased. She really did not want to deal with an exhausted, hungry, bathroom deprived cheerleader. She wasn't sure she could take it. No, she knew she couldn't take it. But thankfully the room she was in search of came into view.

She slipped into the room quietly, letting out a sigh of relief at having found it open. But the sound turned into that of a strangled breath. She wasn't alone in the room and she was almost positive the other inhabitant hadn't noticed her yet. Frankly, Quinn hoped to keep it that way. It wasn't that she hated the boy in question, because she didn't. Hate was a very strong word. But she wasn't exactly fond of him either. It was more of a feeling of indifference that often leaned more toward dislike than liking. She accepted him though. That was better than nothing.

Her eyes flickered from his form, perched at the piano looking frantically over sheet music, to the set of seats. She smiled at the sight of her yellow cardigan set neatly right where she left it. She tried to walk quietly, she honestly did. She really wasn't in much of a mood to talk to anyone right now, let alone Jesse St. James. She still didn't trust the guy. Rachel had broken his heart, so he said, and seemed relatively loyal to the club, but she still did not trust him. She herself had been a spy at one point in time. She knew how easy it was to blend in. These glee kids weren't the brightest either. The rest of them seemed content to ignore him but not Quinn. Perhaps it was the bad karma that caused him to notice her.

"Quinn Fabray," He smiled as he turned, surveying her stance. One corner of his lips was higher than the other.

"Jesse," She replied, trying to sound pleasant. She really didn't understand why using her last name seemed necessary.

"What are you doing here? I'm here often because I always like being ahead with learning the music, but I never see you around after school unless we have a glee," He stood from the bench as he spoke. She thought he talked a little too much. Just like Rachel. She also found it ironic that he never saw her even though she was positive she had been around when he was.

"I left my cardigan," She pointed in the general direction as she spoke. "I kind of wanted it back so."

"Oh let me," He spoke after she trailed off. It was almost like she had never stopped talking the way he automatically jumped in. She had wanted to deny his help, thank him for offering but politely decline, but he had already crossed the room and was scooping up the yellow fabric.

"Thanks," She said with a closed lip smile, accepting it from his hands before putting it on. She felt warmer almost instantly and that brought a smile to her lips that showed teeth. She saw her way out and quickly tried to make her escape. "That's all I was here for, so I'll be going."

"How do you get home?" He blurted out before he could stop himself, causing Quinn to raise one brow.

"I walk," She replied curtly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"I could drive you today if you like. It's pretty chilly outside," He replied as a cover up.

"Oh no that's alright," Quinn wanted to believe that he was being sincere, she really did, and she tried to. But it just didn't seem logical. If Jesse was a spy, and she suspected he was, his niceness was to be expected. He would need to cozy up to everyone in the glee club in order to finish his job effectively.

"Please, I insist."

"Alright," She caved after an awkward silence passed and she walked toward one of the chairs and set her things down. "But I don't want to interrupt whatever it was you were doing so…go ahead and finish up."

She watched as he smiled as a thank you before sitting himself back down at the piano. Her hands were clasped tightly, resting in her lap. She was staring intently at the pattern of her dress. After a beat she heard the beginning of their newest song fill the room. Jesse's voice came next. Quinn felt herself fighting back a smile as she realized he was singing Finn's solo. To make things more humorous, she realized he sounded better singing it too. Perhaps, if she was in a giving mood, she would mention that to Schuester. If she really wanted to get his attention she could make up some excuse about thinking that Finn was being overworked. Then again, she wasn't sure if she should test it after the little heart to heart she had just had with the Spanish teacher.

"Jesse why did you break up with Rachel?" Quinn found herself asking. She knew the story floating around glee club but she wanted to see if he hesitated before answering. She felt a little bad as the music abruptly stopped.

"Why would you ask me that?" His voice wasn't harsh or accusing, just curious, she noted. But he did not turn to face her right away, and he had avoided the question.

"Curiosity," She shrugged, her head tilted a little to one side.

"She cast me opposite two other guys. I was under the impression it was just me. I was humiliated. I can understand her reasoning to a certain extent but I can't help but think that I should have been enough for her," He sighed, turning to face her completely. "Plus the guys were two of her ex's and who's to say that nothing happened between them while they were filming?"

"It sounds like you don't have very much faith in her," Quinn retorted. She wasn't sure why she said that, it just sort of happened. But she had realized his little speech seemed like just that, a practiced speech.

"I don't know what to think, Quinn. I've seen the glances she throws at Finn when she thinks I'm not looking. How do I know she doesn't still hold feelings for Puck as well?" He seemed honestly confused by the situation, Quinn could give him that.

"I trust Puck. I don't think he did anything with Rachel. Finn promised to stay away from Rachel for your sake. I don't think he would break that promise," She replied. Concerning Puck she was almost lying through her teeth. She was guilty of wondering the same thing. But Jesse didn't need to know that.

"You put a lot of trust in someone who has such a bad reputation," He replied with amusement in his tone before pausing. He apologized momentarily afterward, claiming that he thought he was out of line. Quinn hadn't minded much. "Speaking of bad reputations."

"Yes?" Quinn inquired after he paused. He seemed to be deciding whether or not to ask his question.

"Is it true you were behind the glist?" He asked with a smile playing across his lips. He didn't even wait for an answer; she suspected it was because it was written all over her face. He had caught her off guard. "I sort of suspected it was you after I eliminated Puck as an option. You put yourself first, that was kind of a dead giveaway."

"Thanks," She replied through gritted teeth. She wasn't sure if she should be offended or not.

"How did you get away with it? I thought the culprit was going to be suspended. I was actually expecting a second glist too." He ran a hand through his dark hair.

"Schuster figured out it was me. He let me off the hook since…well, since I haven't exactly had it the easiest lately," She confessed, frowning to herself. Her eyes were trained on her hands. It was the truth and she wasn't sure why she was sharing it with him.

"That makes sense," He smiled at her, nodding his head in approval. "I have one more question if you don't mind."

"Go for it," She replied while leaning back in her chair, a smile playing at her lips.

"Why was I as high on the list as I was? If I recall correctly, you had me placed at number five. I was under the impression that you weren't exactly fond of me," He had one of his brows raised after he spoke and she smiled again.

"It's not that I'm not fond of you, I just don't trust you. I'm under the impression that you're a spy, I've been there and done that," She smirked at his expression. "But you aren't as annoying as the other people in this club. You're the only person who really doesn't seem to judge me. Mike and Matt do, I can see it in their eyes. It's sort of comforting having you around. You're a total stranger; things are different concerning you."

Quinn's smile faded when she finished her little speech. She watched the emotions flicker across his face. He was taking in the information he had just been given. Every now and then he would lick his lips as if he meant to say something, but he never got around to it. He sort of just nodded to himself, one corner of his lips shooting up as his eyes lowered to the ground. If Quinn was being honest with herself at that moment she would admit that she could understand why Rachel found him attractive. Not that she would ever admit to it out loud. There was no way she could own up to that. Though, she realized, it might have been amusing to see Rachel's reaction to her train of thought.

"I wish that you believed in me more than you do," He replied after a beat, looking up so that his light eyes met hers. "I don't want enemies in this club. Honestly, since I broke up with Rachel people sort of keep their distance from me. I think they only tolerated me because of Rachel and Rachel really isn't even that well liked among all of you."

Quinn was surprised. She hadn't known that Jesse could talk that fast. It was almost unbelievable. But she found herself nodding along with that he was saying. It was the truth after all. Most of the people only put up with Rachel and her drama queen antics because she was the star. They all knew that if Rachel left the club they would have no chance at Regionals. More than half of the club wished that wasn't the case too. Kurt and Mercedes were at the top of the list of not being fans of Rachel. Maybe close enough to Finn and Puck at this moment in time.

"I'll make a note to start talking to you more. After all, I kind of owe you for the ride," She was teasing, and by the expression on his face she knew he was aware of it. But his smile grew and he nodded. After a beat she extended her hand. "Hi, I'm Quinn Fabray. I'm an ex Cheerio who has made some poor decisions. I'm currently one of the biggest losers in the school thanks to my fall from grace. I hate my language class, I eat far more candy than I really should lately, and I'm honestly looking forward to maybe being your friend."

She had her hand floating between them for awhile. She felt the smile slipping from her face. He was staring at her with the strangest expression on his face. Quinn sort of just felt awkward now with him looking at her like that. She felt her hand drop just a little and her lips were parted. She quickly captured her bottom lip between her teeth, a nervous habit of hers, but refused to break eye contact. After another ten seconds he smiled and grasped her hand in his.

"Hi, I'm Jesse St. James. I'm an ex member of Vocal Adrenaline who, if I'm being honest, sometimes contemplates whether or not I made the right decision leaving that group. I'm not very well liked because people here don't trust me. I sort of have a passion for language but I can't stay awake in my history class because of the teacher. I prefer skittles to chocolate and I'm hoping that you and I do become friends."

Quinn had noticed a tentative smile spreading across her lips while he was talking. When he had finished it had morphed into a full blown grin and she shook his hand before dropping it. They didn't really say anything after that. They both stood from their chairs, Jesse heading over toward the piano to grab his sheet music, and Quinn reaching over to retrieve her bag. They walked to his car in silence but they had a pleasant enough conversation in the car. Quinn was beaming with the idea of making a new friend, even if it was one that wasn't well liked like Jesse. She suspected that was why she was so enthralled with the idea.

It was an accident the first time they spoke. The occurrences after that weren't accidental at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**: Thank you very much to every one of you that has reviewed! I ask that you please continue to do so. Reviews make my day brighter.

I'm not exactly sure where this little story is going to go, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I also hope that you all don't expect me to update every day. That really isn't like me. I sort of just wanted to push out a chapter before glee tomorrow. I want to incorporate part of the episode in my next chapter. We'll have to see how that plays out. I am glad that you all seem excited with the idea of this pairing.

Once again, please leave me a review. If you can take the time out to add me to your favorites and your alerts (thank you to those that have done so) you can take the time to leave behind a quick little review.

_Started 5/9/10. Finished 5/10/10._

These meeting grew more constant for the pair within the next week. It was always the same. Quinn would find him in the choir room, his fingers dancing across the keys as he practiced vigorously. The more she watched him the more she realized how much he and Rachel were alike. He practiced when he obviously didn't need to. It was more like he did it for the pure fun of it rather than working toward a goal. Quinn admired him for that. She wished that she could throw herself into a task so effortlessly. She wished that she could slip into his head and see how he dealt with it. Even when she had the Cheerios she had never fully managed to achieve anything of that sort. There was always something there to distract her. She wondered if it was ever that way for him. But every day there he was, playing and singing as if nothing had changed since the previous day. She envied him a little.

After their first encounter it was a ritual thing. She would slip into the room and sit in her usual seat. Except lately she would manage to drift in right after school ended. Gradually it became her very first stop when her day came to a close. She would walk in as quietly as she could. No matter how early she was he was always there, his fingers moving faster than she thought possible. He would always notice her presence too. He would turn and smile at her and she would mimic the gesture before settling into a chair, placing her bag next to her. She would watch him from anymore between a minute to five minutes before pulling out a notebook and a textbook to work on whatever homework she had for the day. She found it wondrous how much faster her school work was finished when they had these meetings. She suspected his playing soothed her somehow, it made her calmer.

After awhile he would stop playing and she would always look up with a questioning gaze. He would smile a sort of half smile at her before rising from the bench and clearing the room until he reached her. He usually would spin a chair before straddling it, resting his arms on the top of the chair before setting his head on top of them. He would glance down at her homework; tease her about the language questions she had failed to answer. She would find herself flushing before she laughed, shaking her head as if she were irritated. She never really was. He would hold open his hand for the worksheet and the text book before he would stare at both. He always found the answer almost instantly. She would stare at him with furrowed brows and a slightly slack jaw before yanking her work away from him and searching the pages. She would demand how he had found the answer and he would shrug, laughing lightly.

This had happened every day since the day she left her cardigan. She never pictured herself becoming friends with Jesse St. James. But she didn't regret it. Even though he used to be in Vocal Adrenaline she found that she could no longer hold that against him. If he was a spy, he was a good one. If she was being honest with herself, she would realize that if he actually left and betrayed the club, she would be deeply hurt. In the past week she was starting to trust this boy, this stranger. She still felt like he didn't judge her though she suspected he did. Everyone was guilty of judging other people. They just didn't always let it show. Jesse didn't. Quinn mentally thanked him for that every day. He was the breath of fresh air she needed lately.

She realized how much she looked forward to the end of the day because of him. Their friendship was a tentative one. They did not acknowledge that the other existed during school or during Glee. If their eyes happened to meet their faces remained clear of any emotion. Nobody suspected their friendship. It was sort of thrilling, their situation. They had a secret friendship. Puck didn't exactly like Jesse and Rachel didn't exactly like Quinn. Not that Quinn even cared about what Rachel thought. And Quinn didn't like that girl in Puck's history class that he always talked to. That never stopped him from talking to her. Quinn figured she deserved her own secret friend that he wouldn't approve of. She wanted to take the risk.

Jesse never seemed to let other people tell him how to act either. It was like they didn't matter to him, nothing really did. She felt sorry for him. During glee no one was really friendly to him, no one was cruel or anything, they just treated him with indifference. Unless you counted Rachel who would shoot him little looks over her shoulder or when she sang. But Quinn never counted Rachel. There were many times during rehearsals where Quinn wanted to stand and move her things over next to him. When he was bent over his music, that's when he looked most lonely. That was when the urge presented itself more acutely. But then she would notice Puck's hand resting on her knee and she would forget about him momentarily. She would slip back into her role, knowing that the two of them would talk later.

There were also those times that she would see him in the halls. He was practically a ghost; sometimes she didn't even see him when he walked past her. He had joined the ranks of the glee club losers, the gleeks. He never seemed to mind. He was like her in that sense, sort of. He would hold his chin high, walk past those that openly laughed. Quinn wondered if he beat himself up about it when he got home like she did. Though she would never admit it, there were times that she would cry because of some of the things people said. They were hurtful things and she knew that Jesse had probably had his share of hurtful comments as well. This was not Carmel High, show choir wasn't that exciting or praise worthy at McKinley.

Today she had heard a particularly hurtful comment made about Jesse. Quinn had felt the color drain from her face. It was the sort of hushed comments you hear whispered during classes. It was one of those situations where if she were to turn around and berate them she would receive a slip from the teacher asking her to leave the room for disrupting the class. It had been a pair of airhead Cheerios she was familiar with to utter the comment; the teacher pointedly ignored them and continued on with his lecture. Quinn wondered if he hated his job as much as he seemed to. She wondered if he didn't say anything because Sue had threatened him. It seemed like a thing Sue would do.

So today Quinn was very much waiting with anticipation for the final bell to ring. She just wanted to make her way to the choir room. Jesse would be there like he always was. She would be able to marvel at how strong he was. He never showed her weakness whenever it came to rumors. She admired him for that. She admired his strength, she envied it. She found it completely fascinating. When the bell did finally ring Quinn found herself bolting from her seat, earning a couple of sniggers from other students. She had to suck in a sharp breath to calm herself before slowing her pace. She even made sure to take extra long when she stopped by her locker to drop off text books she wouldn't need.

"Quinn?" She turned, shutting her locker, and smiled as Puck came into view.

"Hey." She adjusted the strap of her bag.

"So what do you feel like doing tonight?" He asked with that smile of his. She felt her own grow until she noticed that his eyes had left her face momentarily. When she turned she spotted the girl from his history class. She rolled her eyes, already annoyed.

"Staying in, reading a book," She replied with crossed arms. If he was smart he would realize he had upset her.

"Why would you want to do that? It's a Friday night, we should do something." He didn't. Quinn smiled a tight lipped smile.

"I don't know if I'm up for it, Puck. The baby's been kicking kind of hard today." She lied, glaring at whatshername as she passed.

"Seriously?" His eyes had lit up and he reached a hand forward, eagerly. "Can I feel?"

"No." She swatted his hand away, watching as his face fell.

"Why not?" His forehead held creases, displaying his displeasure.

"Because I don't want you to touch my stomach. I'm not one of those pregnant girls who like everyone touching their stomach every five seconds." She snapped back. Her reply seemed to catch him off guard.

"I'm not 'everyone' though. I'm the father," He replied with a bit of anger in his own voice. His jaw had clenched. She watched the muscle twitch.

"You've felt her kick before," Her voice was a little softer now. "I'm sorry; I'm just not up for hanging out today."

"Yeah I'll say," He was still angry. The muscle twitched again. "Whatever. Maybe I'll see if Natalie wants to help me with that history project."

Quinn wanted to slap him. It was too bad that he moved too fast. By the time what he said had even registered he had already pushed himself away from the lockers and had taken off in the direction whatshername had gone in. Natalie, she mentally corrected, her name was Natalie. Quinn blinked back hot tears. She was angry, and water was blurring her vision. She cleared her throat once, turning on her heel. She wouldn't give people the satisfaction of seeing her cry. She didn't do that in public. That was something secret to her.

It was difficult today though. She felt tears slip down her cheeks before she pushed the bathroom door open. She sniffed once, twice. She brushed the tears away with the pads of her fingers. More fell. Quinn sighed with irritation, moving toward a stall. The drawings inside sparked more tears. Quinn choked back a sob, locking the stall and sitting herself down on one of the toilets. She let the tears fall as she quietly shook from the tears. She had become one of those girls that cry in the bathroom stalls. She hoped this didn't become a daily thing, she wasn't sure if she could handle it. Especially if it progressed to her leaving during class just to cry.

She could feel her baby stirring in her stomach. It was a little unsettling. It was almost as if she knew her mother was distraught. Quinn reached for a bit of toilet paper and dabbed at her cheeks. The skin felt cold. She was starting to get a headache too. Quinn placed a hand on her stomach. She could feel her baby move just a little. As much as she didn't want to, she smiled. This was how she would grow attached to her baby. If she was still going to give her up for adoption she would need to stop thinking the way she did. Quinn felt the baby kick as if to demonstrate her resentment at her mother's thoughts. She removed her hand from her stomach, standing.

"It isn't your choice," She whispered quietly, wiping at her eyes once more before walking out of the stall.

The bathroom mirror was murky. The janitors never did the best job at cleaning them. They always seemed a little foggy. But even with the cloudy reflection she could see the tear stains on her cheek. She could see how red her eyes were. She grimaced at the sight. This wasn't the Quinn Fabray she used to be. She suspected she would never find that girl again, she was buried somewhere cold. She pulled the lever on the faucet, sliding her hands beneath the cool water. She cupped some in her palms before splashing it onto her face. She dabbed at her water stained skin with a paper towel. The water helped her appearance a little.

Quinn slipped out of the bathroom quietly, heading toward the choir room. She was later than usual but Jesse was usually in the room for an hour if not longer. She would not reveal the day's events to him if he asked. She wondered if he would even inquire about her obvious change in attitude. She felt less confident than usual. She doubted he would ask about it. Their conversations never really were personal. They only touched the surface; their friendship hadn't progressed very far. But Quinn did enjoy his company. She could especially use it now.

Quinn drifted into the choir room with a smile plastered onto her face. It fell almost automatically. Jesse was not seated at the piano bench. There wasn't any evidence that he had ever been there at all. There was no sheet music, his bag wasn't anywhere in the room. Quinn wondered if he had ever even been there to begin with. Either way he wasn't there now. She, strangely, found herself hurt by this. She felt that little ache in heart tighten. She cleared her throat, feeling the lump there. She swallowed to stifle it. It didn't go away.

"Quinn?"

Quinn turned a little too quickly. She tried to fight the hope that probably had leaked into her expression. Those hopes were dashed down. She had expected to see Jesse standing behind her. She wasn't sure why. The voice hadn't even sounded like his. Instead she came face to face with Mr. Schuester who was standing near the door, a folder grasped tightly in his hands. His eyes were questioning and Quinn suddenly felt uncomfortable. She realized then that he had never been present in the choir room the past week. He hadn't been in the room even once when she was with Jesse.

"Quinn?" He repeated, taking a step forward. "Did you need something? I need to lock up the classroom. I'm heading home early today."

"I uh, no I don't need anything," Quinn replied a little too quickly. Her voice was a little higher than normal as well. She glanced at her feet. "I'm gonna go...yeah I'm gonna go."

"Quinn, wait," She felt his hand on her arm. He stopped her from walking past him. She had started moving before she had even finished speaking. She eyes his hand warily before returning his gaze. "Are you sure?"

"Well," Quinn began. In that moment she honestly considered telling Mr. Schue everything. She considered sharing every aspect of her day with him. She considered telling him about her meetings with Jesse. She suspected it was because of that damn expression on his face, the real concern that lit up his eyes. The Spanish teacher really did care about his students, she realized, it made lying to him that much more difficult.

"Nope, nothing. I thought I left a notebook in here but I guess not."

"Oh, I suppose not," He replied with a smile touching his lips as he surveyed the room. "I would offer to help you look for it but I really have to get going."

"That's okay, Mr. Schue, I don't want to hold you back any longer than I already have," Quinn replied and tucked a blonde curl behind her ear.

"Come on, Quinn, I'll walk you out." He smiled before following her out of the classroom. "I felt a little bad earlier. I had to ask Jesse to leave when he asked for permission to stay after and use the piano to rehearse. Did you know that he's always here after school working on the music? He really is dedicated."

"Wait, Jesse was here?" Quinn asked, her eyes lighting up. She quickly looked away, to hide it. "I mean, he stays after every day? Why do you suppose that is?"

"I think he just really has a passion for what he does. Between you and me I think he's having a hard time dealing with the whole Rachel thing too," He admitted before smiling at her. "I'll see you on Monday, Quinn."

"Right," Quinn replied, still completely distracted. She hadn't even realized she was outside the school until she watched Mr. Schuester head over to his car. She even watched as it pulled out of the parking lot.

Quinn stood there for awhile, letting that information seep in. Jesse had actually been in the choir room. If she hadn't slipped into the bathroom there might have been a chance that she wouldn't have missed him. Quinn asked herself why she even cared. She shouldn't have. He wasn't her best friend or anything. But she still remembered that she had been hurt when she hadn't seen him in the choir room. She found herself wondering where he was then. If he was gone she would need to walk home, something she hadn't done since they had started talking. It was weird to think about it.

It was at that exact moment that she chose to look over where he usually parked. She felt her eyes widen. Her lips parted in a smile of disbelief. Jesse was leaning against his car, facing her. She watched the smile touch the corner of his lips. She watched it play across his features before finally reaching his eyes. He raised one hand and waved in greeting and she felt herself doing the same. She laughed quietly to herself before walking his way. The wind picked up, whipping her hair around her face and into her eyes. She was secretly glad that she wouldn't have to walk home in this.

"I was beginning to think you had left," He said slowly, teasingly, when she was close enough.

"I could say the same for you. Why would you wait for me?" She asked as he opened the car door, taking her bag and setting it on the backseat.

"I was under the impression that I was now your form of transportation," He replied with a cocky smirk. His playful tone was infective. "What sort of friend would I be if I left you at school?"

"Not a very good one. I would have to keep my history notes to myself if you had," Quinn replied equally playfully before slipping into the passenger seat. Jesse moved to the opposite end of the car.

"Oh, so we're playing dirty now? Maybe I won't help you with your language homework anymore," Jesse retorted as he started the car, flashing a smile.

"Ouch." Quinn found herself laughing. She reached over and turned the volume up just a little.

She settled comfortably into the seat. Her eyes closed for a fraction of a second, enjoying the warmth the car provided. In that moment she could forget about everything. She could forget about her big language test on Monday. She could forget about her inability to resist a chocolate bar simply because she wanted one. She could forget about the pressure glee club provided because they absolutely had to place at Regionals. She could even forget about Puck and what he may or may not being doing with Natalie at that very moment. Quinn realized that when she was with Jesse she could just let herself go.

The baby stirred in her stomach again and she smiled to herself. She wondered if her baby had taken a liking to Jesse as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**I was very disappointed with the new episode. There was no Jonathan Groff and that was horribly depressing. But I will admit that it worked out perfectly for this chapter.

On another note, I saw Glee Live yesterday and it was fantastic. If any of you have the chance to go I highly recommend it, I still can't get over the fact that I saw them live.

Thank you to those of you that have reviewed, please continue to do so. To new people reading, please leave a review on your way out! I would very much appreciate it.

_Started 5/11/10. Finished 5/12/10._

Quinn was about ready to pull her hair out. Whether she wanted to admit it or not she was in way over her head with this language paper. She frowned at the words she had typed and cringed when she heard Puck's little sister scream from somewhere in the house. She placed a hand on her growing stomach, looking down as she did so. She wondered what her baby would be like if she did keep it. She hoped it wouldn't scream all the time like Puck's sister. Quinn doubted she would be able to handle that. It all seemed so unreal, raising a child. She figured mothers deserved every ounce of praise they received. She could understand why Mother's day was considered a holiday now.

But Quinn didn't like focusing on those sorts of things for long. It always brought up an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach. And it wasn't due to her baby moving around. It had everything to do with just considering raising her baby. Sure, of course there was a part of her that wanted to keep her baby, to watch her grow. But Quinn wanted a better life for the little person currently moving around inside her. She knew that if she were to keep her, she surely couldn't provide a life that a loving couple would. If Quinn kept her the baby's life would be miserable, she just knew it. Hell, if she couldn't even figure out how to write her paper how was she supposed to raise a baby?

That was exactly her point. It didn't make any sense at all.

After awhile Quinn noticed that she was glaring at the screen. It even seemed like it was glaring right back at her. She could almost hear its taunting voice in her head and it just seemed to grow louder. The volume increased with every passing second. She sucked in sharp breaths to try to calm herself down. She even shut her eyes. Although it didn't take a genius to tell her that she wasn't taking slow, deep, calm breaths. She said screw calm breaths. They never really helped her calm down anyway. And besides, breathing like that just reminded her that she would have to go through labor at some point.

Ewh. There she went thinking about it again. She could feel the creases on her forehead form and she shook her head to fight away the images. She really didn't want to think about having some strange doctor between her legs telling her to push out an infant. She didn't want to think about pushing out an infant period. Who cares if it was inevitable? That didn't mean she had to think about it. Well, yes it did actually. Regardless, Quinn hating thinking about it. She got sympathy pains whenever she did.

"Quinn!" She visibly jumped before turning to face the door with wide eyes. "Puck wants you to come see his new high score for his video game."

"Tell him I'm busy," Quinn replied, eyeing his sister with a look of amusement. She really could be adorable when she wanted to be.

"Puck, she says she's busy!" There went that idea. It flew right out the window when she heard her screech at the top of her lungs.

"Ask her what's so important!" Puck hollered back. Even from her room Quinn could hear the sounds of his video game. She didn't even want to know what level the volume was at.

"He wants to know what's so-"

"Yeah, I know. I heard him," Quinn replied, effectively cutting her off. The young girl pouted.

"Well what should I tell him?"

"My education, I have a paper to write," She replied with a smile. The expression on the girl's face was priceless. She looked absolutely horrified. Quinn suspected that Puck's sister was more like him than he believed if she couldn't believe in the importance of school. "And please, don't scream it this time."

She felt herself actually sigh with relief when the girl left her room, a bright smile on her face. She adored Quinn; it made her feel a little special. It even raised her spirits a little bit. But that disappeared just as soon as it came when she turned back to face the computer. Who was she kidding? She didn't understand anything this essay was asking her to do. This was exactly why she needed Jesse. He would know what to do and he would help her. But of course the one time she honestly needed his help he was out of town. She didn't appreciate that at all.

Quinn gave up. She pushed herself away from the computer before falling onto her bed. Her eyes were focused on the ceiling, her hands cupping her baby bump. She could feel the baby's movements beneath her hand. It was a little frightening but amazing and wonderful at the same time. Her finger stroked the spot through the fabric of her shirt. She felt a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Her hand fell away from her stomach and she shut her eyes. She would be sleeping if she wasn't so awake to begin with. It was that damn paper. She could never sleep if she knew she had something she didn't finish.

"Jesse St. James, why do you have to be in San Diego?" Quinn asked out loud. She wanted to laugh at herself. What was she doing? Talking to him like he actually there.

She did wish he was here, she realized with a sad sort of smile. She wished he was here helping her, keeping her company, instead of being off in San Diego doing whatever it was that he was doing. Lucky guy, she thought to herself with a look of distaste. If she was being honest, she didn't like the idea of him hanging out with people from Vocal Adrenaline. Not that she had the right to be or anything. That was a horrible thought for her to posses. They were his friends, even if they were the enemies. It would be selfish and unfair for anyone in the glee club to ask him to stop talking to his friends.

Besides Rachel didn't seem to mind. And she was his girlfriend after all. Kind of. Sort of. Maybe. Quinn didn't really know.

Rachel seemed to think that they were. Or that was what she told everyone in glee. Quinn hadn't even bothered to ask Jesse about the whole situation. She didn't really want to. She didn't exactly care. It was sort of an unspoken rule between the two of them. A don't ask, don't tell of sorts. They never shared information unless they chose to. They didn't ask questions about their personal life. Half the time Quinn couldn't even recall what it was that they talked about now that she thought back on it. That irked her a little bit. Why couldn't she remember a few simple conversations?

"Quinn," The voice drifted from the door. Quinn turned to see Puck standing in front of the door frame. "Seriously? You don't want to come see my awesome score all because of some stupid paper?"

"It isn't stupid, Puck," Quinn defended herself while sitting up. She fought the urge to roll her eyes. Actually, that was a lie. She did roll her eyes. "It's for my language class, it's important. I really need to get a good grade on this."

"Why? I thought you were doing loads better in that class." He seemed baffled and he scratched at his Mohawk-less head.

"I was, I am, but that was because I had a...tutor," She lied. It was an obvious lie too, not that Puck would see that. "I haven't been talking to my tutor lately. I haven't been getting help."

"Oh...that blows," He paused, letting the silence hang in the air. "So are you going to come see it or not?"

"I said no, Puck, that means no," She pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache coming on already. Puck was reliable when it came to bringing on headaches.

"Why are you acting like this? Is it because I'm dating Mercedes?" He asked with an accusatory tone. She didn't appreciate it.

"Were, you were dating her, you aren't anymore," Quinn quipped, shrugging once at his look. "Speaking of her, why don't you ask her to look at your new high score? Or Santana or Natalie?"

"Oh, oh I see what this is!" She cringed at how loud his voice suddenly grew. His facial expression made it appear that he had just had the brightest idea in his entire life. Quinn wondered if that was true. "You're jealous! You're totally jealous! Babe, if you were so upset that I was talking to other girls you should have told me, I can solve that problem. We could get back together and everything."

"I did tell you," She replied curtly. "You ignored me. And since when were we together? I guess I forget to get the memo. I thought we were never really actually together, you were just around because of the baby."

"Well, yeah. We held hands and stuff...didn't that make us a couple?"

"That's not what you told me when you said you wanted to go for Mercedes. You denied that we were even a couple. I damaged your reputation and you just couldn't stand that, could you Puck?" She laughed out of disbelief. It was a bitter sound, she could almost taste it. "So no, we aren't together, apparently we never were. I don't think I want to be with you either."

"You have no idea what you're missing," He replied in that cocky manner he did. It was the way he always spoke when he was even remotely hurt. It was how he tried to save face. He tried to make it seem like he didn't care, but Quinn knew better.

Quinn didn't even need to reply. He took her silence as an answer. She hadn't put up much of a fight. Actually, she hadn't put up a fight period. That gave him all the answer he needed. She hugged a pillow to her chest, resting her head on top of the smooth surface. She swore for a minute that she could hear Puck giving himself a pep talk on the other side of the wooden frame. But then it stopped and she was left second guessing herself. After another minute she heard his video game start back up. The sounds had changed; she suspected he had switched games. She later discovered she was correct when she heard a game character's howls of pain followed by rapid gunfire.

She sighed to herself. It was such typical Puck behavior. Some people drowned their unhappiness with music, some with literature, and some with food. What did he do? He played video games where he got to kill things. That was his way of ignoring the problem, which was his way of dealing with things. Quinn tried to tell herself that she didn't care, she honestly did. But she felt responsible, even though that was ridiculous. There was still that part of her that cared for him. She didn't like to see him upset, even if that feeling was anger at the moment. She wondered if his mother ever heard their conversations. Lately they were always arguing. Half of the time it ended with Puck storming away blaming everything on her hormones.

She wondered if this was their last big argument, maybe they really were done. Hopefully they could still manage to be civil to each other. She wasn't sure if she would be able to stand the living situation any other way.

Quinn bit the bottom of her lip, staring at the door. She wanted to apologize, to get it over with. She probably shouldn't be the one apologizing but if she didn't things would never get better. Usually after she apologized Puck would follow. He could admit that he was wrong every once in awhile. Sometimes. She hoped this would be one of those times when she moved to walk toward the door. She got as far as the hallway, his door was open, and she peered into the room. It was only then that she noticed the silence. The TV screen displayed the graphics of some war game and the menu that popped up showed that it was on pause. Her eyes searched for Puck until she found him sitting on his bed, his phone pressed to his ear.

Quinn knew it was wrong to eavesdrop. It was something that had been drilled into her head ever since she was a child. Even then she never followed that rule and she often got in trouble for breaking it. Today was no different. She fell back so that Puck couldn't see her, but she waited. When she was the head cheerleader this was her specialty. After all, how could one spread rumors unless they heard some variation of them first? Her stomach lurched; she made the mistake of thinking about Cheerios. Her baby gave a violent kick; even she didn't like her mother's thoughts. Quinn cringed, biting her tongue.

Her face flushed red. He was on the phone with Santana and Quinn definitely did not want to hear the sort of things they were talking about. She wasn't even sure why he had left his door open if he was planning on having phone sex. She felt her jaw clench, felt the tears blur her vision. She had to get out of there and fast. She turned on her heel, headed back toward her room. He hadn't even waited ten minutes before going after someone else. She told herself she shouldn't be upset. Apparently they were never together to begin with anyway. But she still felt betrayed. She suspected that was normal. It was, wasn't it?

The door shut silently behind her. It was hard not to slam it, she desperately wanted to. But that would have given her away. Surprisingly she didn't want to be discovered. That would only give Puck more firepower against her. She didn't want to deal with anymore confrontation. Right now she just wanted to finish her paper, maybe finish reading a chapter in her book or something. Maybe she would even glance at the sheet music to their new song. First things first though, she needed to finish that paper. For her though, that was so much easier said than done. She didn't know where to begin, she didn't know what to identify. So she continued to lean against the door, closing her eyes, blinking rapidly to fight back the tears that were still present in her eyes.

She started to move toward the computer, she actually did. She got as far as the desk chair; she glanced at the screen, at the open document. Her name and class period stared back at her. She didn't even have a single sentence down. Quinn clenched her jaw before grabbing the book next to the desk. She grabbed it tightly in her hands before settling back onto her bed. She fluffed her pillow before leaning back against it and searched for her place in the book. Yet even though she was trying to relax she couldn't focus on the book. Her head was full of rambling nonsense; she couldn't read more than a couple of words without having to go back and re-read them. She couldn't concentrate to save her life.

In her irritation she had tossed the book across the room.

She gave herself to her thoughts then. She thought about glee club mostly. She thought about Rachel losing her voice. She was horrified to discover that Rachel Berry was even present in her thoughts to begin with. But there she was. Quinn had giggled to herself with the rest of them when the glee star had tried to sing "The Climb". It had been a failure, a complete failure. She felt bad for laughing afterward. Finn had shot her a distraught look when he caught her doing it. She had to drop the smile then, Finn was still a sore spot for her. And when Rachel ran out of the room, she felt a flare of jealousy start within her when Finn chased after her. He had gotten over the bad reputation video fiasco fairly quickly.

So had Puck, and he had gotten over it with Mercedes. But Quinn wasn't thinking about Puck.

Kurt's little stunt had been amusing to watch. Watching Kurt pretend to act straight was like watching a comedy skit, only better. Brittany had been in on it too. Seeing the blonde Cheerio parading around the school with him on her arm was far too entertaining. Quinn couldn't even fully put it into words. If it had been anyone else they would have been mocked, laughed at. But it was Brittany and Brittany always seemed to get by with everything. It probably had to do with the fact that, now that she had made out with Kurt, she had made out with everyone in the school. Quinn supposed that was a big accomplishment for her former best friend. She was having better luck than Santana who had decided she wanted Puck all over again. The Latina always wanted what other people had, and Mercedes had been with Puck for however long that had lasted.

Though it had been an eventful couple of days, Quinn couldn't have felt more left out. She would catch herself staring off into the direction Jesse always sat. Seeing his empty chair always made her shoulders hunch forward. It got to the point where people had started to notice too. Tina and Artie had asked her if she was alright on the second day. She had to make up some excuse about being tired. Puck had gone off on some rant about how she was being irresponsible by not getting enough sleep. He claimed it wasn't healthy for their baby. Like he had any room to talk. She hadn't been able to tell any of this to Jesse either. He wasn't there after school like he usually was, being out of town and all. She had no way of contacting him either.

That was upsetting on its own. Quinn actually felt rather pathetic. It was like she needed to talk to Jesse to get through the day now, it was a horrible feeling. She didn't want to hang on him, he was a person not some coat rack. So she fought back her nagging feelings and irritating thoughts. She fought against it with everything she had in her. She kept telling herself that she would see him soon enough. Then they could pick up their...whatever it was they had like nothing had changed. They would act like he never left. Because that's just how the two of them were.

Her phone rang then and the sound made her jump. For a moment it felt like she had actually leapt out of her skin.

Her hand shot out to scoop up the cell phone. It was resting forgotten on her end table. She frowned at the number, debating whether or not to answer. Normally she wouldn't answer the phone if she didn't recognize the number. She was one of those people who believed that, if it was important, they would leave a message. But at this point she needed a distraction. She waited for it to ring one more time, as if to reassure herself. She knew if she waited much longer it would go to her voice mail. Quinn shrugged to herself before pressing the phone to her ear. She could instantly hear an array of noises in the background.

"Hello?"

"Quinn?" She didn't want to get her hopes up. The voice sounded so familiar yet so different, as most people often did over the phone. She didn't want to assume anything.

"Yes? Who is this?" She absent mindedly wrapped a piece of hair around her finger, holding it until she was sure it would curl before letting it go.

"It's Jesse," The voice replied, he sounded unsure. It was like he didn't even know why he bothered to call. "I know this is kind of creepy and all, me having your number since I never asked for it and you never gave it to me. I took it from Rachel's phone the last time we were together. I was going to text you or something first, I don't know why I didn't."

"Jesse, slow down. There's a lot of background noise, it's already hard to hear you. If you didn't talk so fast I might be able to catch what you were saying," Quinn replied before giggling. His little speech hadn't freaked her out at all. She just found it amusing. She really needed amusing right now. "Its fine, I promise I don't think you're stalking me."

"Oh good," He breathed into the phone and she heard someone shriek in the background. The voice was female. Surprisingly Quinn felt that horrible feeling again when she heard the girl. But then she heard Jesse talking to someone she obviously couldn't see. "Hey! I had nothing to do with throwing you in! Watch it with the splashing! I'm on the phone."

"Is everything okay?" Quinn asked while trying to keep the humor out of her voice.

"Everything fine, just a couple of people being idiots," The last word was a little louder. Quinn assumed it was so the people he was with would hear it. She heard laughter in the background.

"Sounds fun," She replied, straining to hear him. "Hey, I don't want to be rude or anything but I really can't hear you, it's so noisy with all the background noise. Is there any way you could call back when there are less people?"

"Oh, I can move away from them. I'm sorry, I didn't even think about that." He sounded sincere and Quinn felt bad for even bringing it up. She could tell he had moved because slowly the background noise faded away. "Is that better?"

"Much better," She replied with a smile even though he couldn't see. "Where are you?"

"At the hotel, everyone else was out by the pool. I'm inside now."

"Are you having fun?" She asked while she was fishing around for something to talk about.

"Of course, California is much different than Ohio," Quinn could hear the smile in his voice. "How's glee?"

"Rachel didn't fill you in?" Quinn could hear the disbelief seep into her voice.

"No, I haven't talked to her. So why don't you fill me?" She could literally hear the smile in his voice.

"Let's see, Rachel lost her voice." Quinn couldn't help that small part of her that swelled knowing that he called her before Rachel.

"Did she? Is she okay?"

"I really don't know, Jesse, I don't talk to her. She seems like she's being stubborn about it," Quinn replied with mild irritation. She didn't exactly enjoy talking about Rachel; in fact it was a subject she tried to shy away from.

"What else?" He prompted and Quinn grinned, he had brushed it off.

"Kurt went straight, sort of, for two days or whatever. He's back to his normal self now. Puck and Mercedes had a thing."

"Puck and Mercedes?" He cut her off; she could almost picture his expression.

"Yes," She replied with a sigh.

"Weren't you two dating?" He paused before continuing, he sounded unsure again. "Did you breakup?"

"I guess we were never really dating. We were together without actually being together," Quinn replied while trying to sound indifferent. She didn't want to make it emotional at all.

"Was that decision yours or his?" He asked teasingly.

"It was mutual."

"So it was his then?" He laughed on the other end of line.

"Have you guys been to the beach yet?" Quinn deliberately avoided the question which only earned another laugh from Jesse.

"What sort of trip to California would this be if we hadn't?" He retorted and she smiled.

Their conversation continued on like that for awhile. They discussed his trip mostly up until he asked what she was up to. When she admitted that she was failing at writing a paper he had laughed at her. She hadn't even needed to say that it was for English. Right there, over the phone, he helped her write her paper and Quinn had finished before she knew it. Honestly, it was one of the best papers she had ever written, she even told him so. His reply was a laugh and some cocky remark that she called him out on. When he had to hang up the phone she agreed to let him go, but they both seemed reluctant. He had even suggested that he stay in instead of going out so that they could talk longer. Quinn told him not to worry about it; she could hear his friends getting restless on the other end. One of them asked if she was Rachel.

That was the last thing she heard before they hung up. Quinn found herself wondering what it would be like if she was in Rachel's place.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note**: Yeah so this has been finished for awhile I just never got around to posting it. It's finals week, I'm concentrating on that. I've started the next chapter but I don't know when it'll be posted. I'm so behind.

On another note, thank you so much to all of you that have reviewed!

Yours thoughts in review form make me smile!

Please continue to leave them! To all you newcomers, review please.

Oh and I'm sorry for the lack of Jesse in this chapter.

_Started_ _5/14/10. Finished 5/18/10._

Quinn settled back against the park bench. The day was pleasant enough. The weather wasn't too warm, nor was it chilly. It had faded to a comfortable in-between. She could wear one of her dresses without the cardigan draped over it to keep her warm. The sun was bright but a cloudy sky kept it from paining her eyes. Quinn didn't want to say it was perfect. Yet the word rested on the tip of her tongue. She feared she would jinx it if she even breathed the word. So she kept it to herself.

She sat under a tree near the small playground. Children scrambled about, their small hands grasping at various toys. There were children in soccer uniforms scattered about on the play set. One slid down the slide, his shouts of terror turning into screams of delight. There was a group of girls giggling into their palms as they admired a butterfly perched on a flower. There was one pair in particular that caught her attention. They couldn't be anymore than three or four years old. She watched with a grin on her voice as a boy with curly brown hair snatched a doll away from another boy. The second one had hair so dark it was almost black and it was cut short. He looked older too. But that wasn't what she was smiling about. The boy with the brown curls approached a blonde girl in the sandbox and handed her the doll. From her spot on the bench Quinn could see the tear streaks on her face.

"How sweet," She whispered. That silly grin of hers was in place.

Because it was sweet. They were adorable and Quinn just wanted to rush over and hug the boy for doing what he did. But she would probably be viewed as a potential kidnapper if she did. That was drama she absolutely did not need. So she stayed in place, admiring the children's sandcastle that they attempted to make with dry sand. It collapsed but they didn't give up. The two of them always picked up right where they left off and eventually the girl plucked at blades of grass. She used it to decorate the castle.

"Would you look at that! She can't be any older than seventeen and she's pregnant!"

Quinn's breath caught in her throat and the smile slipped from her face. She knew the comment was directed at her. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to hear it. It had been whispered but it was just loud enough for her to understand. Whoever spoke, their voice was full of disgust. Quinn's eyes burned. There was a lump in her throat. She searched for the culprit; her eyes settled on a pair of women. One was patting the head of the boy who had taken the girl's doll. Figures.

"I think she heard you," The other woman spoke. She had red hair and quiet voice that shook.

"Well, good. Maybe she needs to hear it," The other one hissed, flicking a strand of dark hair away from her face.

"Vanessa!" The red head exclaimed before lowering her voice. "That's not fair."

"Yeah? Well, she was the one stupid enough to get pregnant in the first place," Vanessa replied. Her voice was louder now.

"That isn't your place to say," The other one replied before standing.

"Where are you going, Emily?"

"Away from you and your attitude," Emily replied with her tone clipped.

Quinn hadn't known she was crying. She knew that her lips were parted in a silent gasp. She knew that her eyes were wide with disbelief. But she didn't know she was crying. She hadn't even realized it until a breeze picked up. Her cheeks felt cold. Her hand was shaking a little as she lifted it to her face. Her lips curled as she felt the wetness there. Her hand fell away and she glared down at the traitor tears marring her fingers. She brushed them away rapidly until she was content her cheeks were dry. When she looked up she realized she wasn't alone.

"I'm sorry about all of that," The red spoke, Emily she recalled was her name.

"About what?" Quinn asked while trying to do her best to look polite. She suspected her expression just looked pained.

"I know that you heard that," She began while gesturing back toward Vanessa who was sulking.

"I'm sorry. She had no right to say any of those things."

"Thank you. I do appreciate the apology, I really do, but I should be used to the comments by now. I hear them all the time," Quinn sighed before fiddling with a loose string on her dress.

"That doesn't mean it'll make it any easier," Emily's voice held a sort of breathy laugh. When Quinn looked up she noticed she was gazing at one of the soccer boys on the playground. The one that was apparently it in the game of tag.

"Is he yours?" A smile crossed her face.

"Yes, he's seven, almost eight. I had him when I was nineteen," She turned toward Quinn, flashing a smile. "I get it. People judged me too. My parents hated me for my mistake. But that's not what he is. I don't ever regret having him."

"How did you manage to deal with it?" Quinn eyes were fixed on the child. She watched as he abandoned the game and drifted toward a girl with red hair the shade of Emily's. She automatically knew they were related.

"It was hard at first, we struggled. His father gave up, said he couldn't handle having a son and he left me to go through it alone."

"I'm sorry," Quinn had breathed the sentence before she could stop herself. It was a reflex that everyone possessed upon hearing unfortunate things.

"You don't need to be, I found my way." She smiled kindly. "I married a man who loved me and accepted the fact that I had already had another man's child. Then I had Bonnie. She and Arthur have been a blessing."

"They seem like good kids," Quinn agreed and the two of them watched the siblings interact.

"Do you know what you're having?" Emily's voice pierced through the silence and turned to look at Quinn.

"A girl," She replied, her hand resting on her stomach. She moved under her palm, stretching. Emily made a sound of delight.

"What are you going to name her?"

"I haven't thought of a name," Quinn replied through tight lips. "I'm not sure I want to."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not keeping her. Thinking of baby names makes her seem like mine." Quinn turned to look at the stranger. She didn't know who she was but she was admitting things she had never told anyone.

"You're putting her up for adoption." Her voice sounded sure. It was a statement.

"Yes, I can't take care of her," Quinn admitted, still stroking her stomach. "I don't have a job or any money. My parents kicked me out. I just can't take care of her."

"Then you might want to start looking for a family that can." Emily smiled in encouragement. "Because not everyone gets adopted. You may think everyone gets adopted. You may think you're doing the right thing but you won't know for certain."

Quinn's face paled. She could literally feel the blood draining from her cheeks. Her vision darkened and her head spun. She never considered that. In her head she always pictured her baby girl happy with a family that loved her. She had never even considered what it would take to get there. Thinking about it now, it hurt. There was a fist grasping her heart. She could feel the hand clench.

"I just want her to be with a family that will love her." Quinn's voice cracked. She blamed her hormones.

"What about you? Don't you love her?" Emily's voice was not stern or demanding. It was soft and comforting.

"I can't let myself love her." Quinn's voice grew quiet. She almost sounded broken. "When I really think about it I think I do. I can't think about it because then it hurts too much."

"You'll be okay." Emily's voice broke her out of her daze. She placed her hand over Quinn's. "I know it feels like the end of the world now, but it'll get better."

"Are you sure?" Quinn turned to look at Emily.

"I've told you my story. Maybe it doesn't count toward anything but it got better for me. I'm happy now." Quinn could hear the smile in her voice without looking.

"You kept your baby," Quinn argued with a sad smile and a shrug. "I think I'm just going to see how everything plays out."

"You don't have to handle this by yourself you know." Emily patted Quinn's hand. "Some friends abandon you but sometimes you will form new bonds stronger than before."

Quinn allowed that thought to sink in. She had been trying to handle this alone since the beginning. She thought it was better that way. She had never wanted to trouble anyone see with her burden. She always assumed it was hers to deal with. Letting other people in meant she would have to share that with others. She didn't know if she could take it. She didn't want people fretting about her. She didn't want them to worry.

What would happen if she let someone in?

She had tried when she was still trying to convince Finn he was the father. He had handled it by letting his grades drop and walking around like some zombie. Puck seemed all for it before slowly beginning to shy away from her as she started to damage his reputation. Brittany and Santana pretty much avoided her like the plague. Again, they couldn't damage their reputation. There was Kurt and while they had bonded just a little he only really wanted to help dress her in fashionable maternity clothes. While Quinn appreciated the efforts of her usual dance partner, she just could not see herself pairing polka dots with pin stripes.

"I don't know if I can do that," Quinn admitted as she removed her hand from Emily's.

"It's going to be hard," Emily agreed, her eyes focused on Bonnie and Arthur. "But having someone there is going to make things easier."

"I don't even know if I could let someone in that close."

"There's no one you could even consider?"

Quinn thought about Kurt again. He could help her in the long run but she didn't see it happening. Mercedes would feel awkward because of the whole Puck thing. Quinn doubted she could even consider Artie, Tina, Matt or Mike. She thought about Mr. Schue. That was logical. He genuinely cared about his students but the teacher student thing would make it weird. She considered Rachel before realizing she would need to be completely desperate to consider her. She thought about Jesse last.

Maybe she could lean on Jesse. It seemed logical to her then. He was becoming a close friend. But their time was short and the bond was fragile. She didn't want to risk severing the bond they were beginning to share. Quinn figured that if she hadn't already started to chase him away that her pregnancy talk would do the trick. Sometimes she caught him staring at her stomach with the most peculiar look on his face. Quinn never knew how to describe that look.

"You're thinking about someone." Emily was grinning. That was the first thing she noticed after the older woman brought her back to reality.

"I'm sorry?" Quinn cleared her throat.

"You're thinking about someone you could confide in. That's good, I say go for it."

"It isn't that simple," Quinn began, struggling to form her cluster of thoughts into words. "We haven't been friends for very long. I don't want to just dump everything on him."

Quinn didn't miss the look Emily shot her when she mentioned her friend was male. In fact, she had the tiniest of smirks on her face. She could guess Emily's assumptions. That alone made the blonde want to flush red. She suspected there was a blush coloring her cheeks. The skin felt warm. She also knew that she could not call Emily out on her actions. Then she would be commenting on things not said out loud. That would make Emily's implications correct and that just wasn't so.

"Try talking to him about it. All you can do is try."

Quinn had to nod. She reluctantly agreed to do so. She didn't honestly know if she would follow through with it but Emily seemed comforted by her answer. Quinn wasn't sure if she wanted to follow through with the idea. The friendship she and Jesse had was new. It was new for both of them. Quinn wasn't too keen on ruining it. In fact she wanted to avoid it at all costs.

"I'm Quinn, by the way," She said after she realized she had never gotten around to introducing herself. The friendly smile she exchanged with Emily spoke volumes.

"It was very nice to meet you Quinn." Emily's tone suggested she was finished with the conversation. Quinn suspected she was. "My motherly duties are calling. Bonnie seems to have fallen and scraped her elbow."

Quinn nodded. She understood. Emily grasped the teenager's hand, writing a number on the skin. Quinn was instructed to contact the woman if she ever had any questions. The suggestion brought a warm feeling in her stomach. She had acquired a new mentor of sorts. Quinn wondered if this stranger would be able to fill in the role her own mother had left open. She knew it was wishful thinking and she was getting way ahead of herself. Yet, Quinn could not help but picture Emily helping her in the future.

Quinn didn't know that she was smiling until her cheeks began to ache. She had remained seated on the bench after Emily stood. From her place she could see little Bonnie and her quivering lip. She could see Arthur telling his sister not to cry. She could see Emily rush over. Quinn watched the mother clean the cut and put a band-aid on it. She felt laugher bubble into her throat as Bonnie continued to pout until her mother placed a kiss on her elbow over the bandage. She watched as Bonnie jumped into her mother's arms giggling.

The whole exchange made her heart tighten. The baby was kicking rapidly as if she was trying to get Quinn's attention. Quinn patted her stomach and kept her hand there afterward. The kicking halted momentarily. She wondered if her baby would be on a soccer team like Arthur was. She suspected the little girl would be good at it. Quinn had to fight against those thoughts before they started to mess with her head. It hurt too much.

Quinn forced herself to stand and move away from the playground. She weighted the pros and cons of Emily's advice in her head as she walked away. The ink on her hand made her skin itch.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note**: I'm sorry this took so long to get out. I had a bit of writer's block. And I'm so far behind with this story! I can't even believe I let myself slip back so far. I'll try to fix that, I swear I will. This chapter was a pain to write though. Honestly I don't even know if I like it.

I honestly don't know if I liked the last episode of Glee either. I did but goodness did they really make Jesse look horrible. I'm not okay with that. Still I can't bring myself to hate Jesse. I can't even bring myself to dislike him. And I still hope that Vocal Adrenaline win Regionals because if New Directions wins I'll be one unhappy viewer. I think they should come in second, because they just have to place in Regionals and I find them coming in first hardly logical.

Anyway, thank you to all of you that have reviewed! I'm trying to reply to all of you that do! Please continue to leave me feedback; it makes my day so much better.

Oh and I'm certainly not done with this little "Dream On" episode bit. Oh I'm not done with it at all. It will be in the next chapter as well, I'm certain of that. I have ideas building in this little head of mine. And I have so many ideas that came to me with this past episode. But it should be a couple of chapters before I actually get there.

_Started: Frankly I have no idea when I started this. Finished: June 4._

When Quinn walked around the halls at school she really did feel like a ghost. Nobody saw her. Everyone mostly avoided her. When people did happen to look her way they saw right through her. That or their eyes were focused on her stomach. Nobody ever really looked at her face. Quinn wasn't sure whether she should feel thankful or offended. Thankful because if no one saw her no one would make fun of her. Offended because at one point she had ruled the school.

She suspected she should feel more thoughtful. She never appreciated being pegged with slushies. She had always laughed along with the rest of them when a certain Rachel Berry got hit. Somehow though, this was different. She could remember being hit with one while she was with Finn. She remembered how the drink had stung her eyes. She remembered how her clothes had been stained. She didn't want to relive that.

So far she had avoided it. People had stopped shoving her out of the way. They stopped pushing her into lockers too. Quinn figured it was because of the baby. No one wanted to be responsible if Quinn miscarried. Nobody wanted to be that person who slushied her only to make her slip. Nobody wanted to be that person who pushed her just a little too hard into a locker. Nobody wished pain and misery on the baby so they started to leave her alone.

That would explain her uncanny ability to walk through the halls without anyone glancing her way.

Her mind was still focused on Glee. Bryan Ryan. The first time she had heard his name she had giggled into her palm. The second he exclaimed their dreams would never come true she wanted to cry out in frustration. She didn't think this man should be able to tell her what she could and could not do with her life. Yet his words made the glee club question themselves. She was included in that little group.

At the end of the meeting she found herself tearing up her "dream" into a million little pieces. They ended up in a trash can.

Jesse wouldn't have been put off by Bryan Ryan's hurtful words. That was her second thought. Jesse would have taken all that was thrown at him. That was the difference between Jesse and the rest of the glee club. Jesse believed in himself. Jesse believed that he could achieve whatever he set his mind to. Quinn had always secretly wished she could be more like him. He was so sure of himself. Even Rachel, who always seemed overly confident, had crumbled at Bryan's words. Yet Quinn suspected that was because Rachel didn't believe in herself as much as everyone thought she did.

Quinn braced herself against her locker. The cool surface felt nice against her back. Her eyes traced over the various forms that inhabited the halls. Quinn found herself wishing Jesse was back again. She had been focused on those thoughts a lot presently. It was like he had taken over her mind. He had worked his way into her brain. It was like one of those parasites in that one Animal Planet show.

She cringed at her last thought.

No, she argued with herself. Jesse was not a parasite. That was the wrong word entirely. Parasites were harmful. Quinn was already aware that Jesse wasn't. Jesse was doing the exact opposite. Though she would never admit it, he sort of made her life better. He gave her something to look forward to on weekdays. His company (and tutoring) seemed to make everything just a little bit better.

Except not now because he was out of town.

Quinn wondered when he could come back. He had never told her. She wasn't sure if she could stand it. She was ready to pull her hair out. She was sick of the glee club's little issues, mainly Rachel being Rachel. Puck made a point of talking to Santana on the phone whenever she was around. That or Natalie. She had realized she had become invisible. People should just start calling her Casper.

Although there was always the occasional whisper or taunt. It mostly came from the football jocks. Some of the girls seemed to decide that they were done being cruel. She supposed maybe it had something to do with Brittany and Santana. Maybe. She wasn't completely positive. But instead of forcefully shoving her out of the way the jocks had turned to more juvenile tactics. They hissed hurtful words at her in class, not so much in the hallways, but in class. They called her fat. They called her a whale. They told her she would never again be the Cheerio she once was. They told her she'd never even be a MILF.

Whether she liked to admit it or not (because who would she admit it to?) that stung. It was like one of those band aids that you kept on for just a little too long. When you have to tear it off it sometimes takes skin with it. It stung like that. A short, harsh sting that resurfaced when you hit it the wrong way. She hit it without meaning to often. It sort of always came up before she went to bed at night. She always let all of it build, never really sharing what was happening. Then it would hit her right before bed.

She fell asleep with headaches.

Then, of course, there was that one guy that she figured maybe, _maybe_, she could confide in. But where was he? Off in California with friends from a fancier, more talented show choir. There were things the glee club spoke about when Rachel wasn't around. Because if anyone said anything about Jesse when Rachel was around that would inspire the girl to go off in a rant with words that never existed in some of their vocabularies. Quinn wondered how she did in English. She probably succeeded just as much as Jesse did. They were alike in so many ways. And just like Rachel, Jesse was not immune to the hurtful comments. The kids had sort of begun to accept Rachel too, which only made the things they said about Jesse so much worse.

Mercedes often hissed her theories about Vocal Adrenaline trying to invade the group. It sounded so much better than Brittany's theory about Jesse being the lovechild of Mr. Schue. Everyone had their suspicions; it was just Mercedes who vocalized them. She was often followed by Kurt, then Tina, then Artie. They all ganged up on the idea that Jesse was a traitor. It bled throughout the club like a slow moving poison. It got to Finn, who already hated Jesse because he had Rachel, before moving on to Puck. Santana jumped on board around the time Mercedes did, she just didn't care so much. Mike and Matt followed afterward. Brittany stuck with her own theory. Where did that leave Quinn?

Sure she had contemplated the thought. Who hadn't? It was present in everyone's heads every time he walked into the choir room. He was immensely lonely aside from Rachel. Nobody trusted him enough to let him get close. But Quinn had. Yet they were both playing their parts. They acted like they had never said a single word to each other because that was what seemed appropriate. She didn't want the rest of the club questioning her every chance she got. She didn't want to be the spy to follow the other spy. They had already tried to pull that on Rachel. As his girlfriend she refused, using all of the colorful words she knew.

Jesse St. James was an undercover spy as far as everyone else was concerned. The only person who doubted it was Rachel. Even Mr. Schue shot him suspicious looks. Quinn noticed. Quinn was the only one that noticed. Rachel ignored it. Jesse ignored it. No one else showed enough interest to notice. The only interest they showed in him was when they were bashing him in the way that they did. They would whisper about their theories and his spying and his singing and his dancing. They talked about anything and everything. They couldn't even admit it to themselves that he was obviously talented.

Of course they all noticed it. How could someone not? Jesse's every being screamed talent. Everyone chose not to acknowledge it. There was a brief period where Mr. Schue gave him a couple of solos and then Finn had to get all butt hurt about it. It wasn't like he had encouraged Jesse to take some of the solos or anything right? Except he had. Then he decided he wanted them back and Mr. Schue gave them to him. Finn was a favorite, the Spanish teacher had his favorites and he was one. So Jesse slipped back into the background as Kurt and Mercedes and Puck and Santana all smiled on. Kurt and Mercedes were jumping at the idea of more solos for them. Puck and Santana were actually getting the solos.

Then there was Quinn. She sat along with the rest of the glee clubbers in silence. She couldn't make fun of Jesse. She couldn't hate on him with Finn who still wouldn't even look at her. She couldn't discuss his fashion sense with Kurt and Mercedes. She couldn't say anything bad about him period. There was a lot of nodding and an occasional "mhm" and a "yeah" heard from her every once in awhile. It was the only thing she could think to do. She couldn't say anything about her friend. Who would? If someone was willing to make fun of their friend behind their back then they had a pretty messed up friendship to begin with. Quinn realized she was a coward for not standing up for him.

"So what is it, your dream?"

Quinn head snapped up faster than she ever thought possible. That voice undeniably belonged to Jesse. Her eyes were already scanning the faces around her until she located the one she was searching for. When they finally settled on him she felt a smile tugging at her lips. She allowed it to slip on her face for a fraction of a second. He hadn't noticed her. He was walking with Rachel, his girlfriend, Quinn reminded herself. Hell, she even just heard him call Rachel his girlfriend. Any doubt that they were still together flew out of her head. It was then that she realized something.

Her eyes narrowed. The boy with the dark hair that had taken over her thoughts was currently staring at Rachel Berry with a sudden intensity that had Quinn staring with wide eyes. He hadn't even told her he was coming back. She hadn't heard a word from him since the phone call a couple of days ago. He just showed up back in school. It was like he appeared from thin air. Maybe Quinn should start calling him Casper instead of taking on the name herself. But Jesse suited him more, much, much more. Jesse St. James was a show name if she ever heard one. Even Quinn had to admit that Rachel Berry fell right along in that category. They were a perfect match, a perfect pair in the hall of show names. She admitted that to herself with a sneer.

She had to back track. Had she actually just thought about that? And with a hint of malice in her tone no less! Then she had to pause. Could thoughts even have tones with malice? Could thoughts have tones at all? She had to stop herself and press her fingers against her temples. She was getting way out of hand with this. For a moment she suspected she felt something like envy directed at Rachel Berry. When did that ever happen? Well, unless she counted her envious feelings when she was Finn. Well, and now while she was with Jesse.

Quinn sighed with only mild irritation. She had a feeling she wasn't going to be getting a ride home from Jesse. The boy wonder had failed the reveal that he was even back in town at all so why should she expect a ride? She shouldn't, that was her entire point. She huffed, tugging at the sleeves of her cardigan before turning in the direction of Puck's locker. She did her very best to square her shoulders. She did her very best to walk just a little taller. She did her very best to keep from looking back at the happy couple. She succeeded in doing all but the last.

She turned the corner and that was it. Jesse was gone from view. She figured it was for the best at this moment. She didn't want to deal with him with her hormones in frenzy. She didn't want to deal with Puck either. The aches in her feet told her she didn't have a choice. She didn't want to walk home. She was willing to suck up to Puck to get a ride. She figured she would manage one too as long as he didn't have anything planned with Santana or Natalie. She sighed once more.

"Puck?" The boy in question turned. One corner of his mouth twisted up higher than the other. He arched his eyebrows. He was waiting for her to speak and Quinn's lips twitched into a smile as she grew closer. Her hand had clasped onto her left wrist as she glanced down. "Do you think I could get a ride home today?"

"I thought you walked," He replied with his arms crossed. He was leaning against his locker. "What's with the sudden change?"

"I do, usually." She cleared her throat and looked up so that her eyes met his. She had just lied. She had just lied straight to his face. It wasn't like she hadn't lied before. In fact the lies were coming much easier now. It was just baffling that he failed to notice every single time. "My feet sort of hurt though. Pregnancy does that to you. So can I get a ridge home or not?"

"Of course," He spoke after a beat. It was like he actually considered turning her down for a second. "What sort of dad would I be if I refused to give my baby mama a ride home?"

"Not a very good one" Quinn played along because a sarcastic remark would not get her any good points where Puck was concerned. Though she didn't exactly like his comment. "Can we leave soon though? I have homework."

Homework and someone to text, she finished mentally. Puck didn't object though, he just nodded before turning and walking down the hall. She was forced to follow along, trying to match his pace. She shuffled her feet. She was alert, looking for any sign of brown hair. She actually did see him before she left. He was still with Rachel. She was talking while pulling at the ends of her braid with Jesse smiling down at her. He looked up. Their eyes locked for a moment but it was enough. He saw her and he knew she saw him.

He watched her walk out the doors with Puck.


	6. Chapter 6

This took awhile. This was a pain in the ass to write. I really don't think you understand. This chapter gave me so much hell and yes it took me awhile to get out. But hey, this chapter is the longest one yet. And honestly? I'm insanely proud of it.

Thank you to those of you who have reviewed and added this story to your favorites and alerts! Please continue to do so!

Are you ready for this?

**If I get fifteen reviews for this chapter I will post a bit of Jesse's point of view for "Dream On".**

Oh yes you read that correctly. Fifteen reviews isn't a lot. I've been getting ten and I know that if everyone that already reviewed continued to do so I would have that usual ten. But if those of you that added this to your favorites and alerts but didn't review decided to review this time around I'm pretty sure that fifteen review goal would easily be met. So please review.

I mean, aren't you all curious to see what's been going on in Jesse's head?

The bit may not be long but it's still a quick peak in the head of Jesse St. James.

_Started: June 5. Finished: June 17._

* * *

Quinn slipped through the front door first. Puck seemed more than a little irritated that his baby mama (his words, not hers) had shoved her way past him to get inside. However it seemed that he was willing to let it slide. As he should be since she was carrying his baby and all. Still she knew that she should be grateful for the ride. She turned and smiled at him, placing a hand on one of the arms he loved so much. He was looking down at her before his eyes fell toward her hand. He smiled before ushering her inside and shutting the door.

Her bottom lip was captured between rows of white. Her back was to Puck but she knew he hadn't gone upstairs quite yet. She could hear him hovering behind her. She could hear him swallow once. Hell, she could almost _feel_ the heat that radiated off of his skin. Quinn could pin point the exact moment he moved. He shuffled his feet when he walked. Puck wasn't sneaky in the slightest. So she knew when he stepped toward her. She knew when he was standing directly behind her. She could feel his chest against her back. Quinn's teeth released her lip and she sighed before falling back against his chest.

Puck chuckled. She heard it. She felt it. She glanced up at him and smiled. She wasn't sure why her attitude toward him had shifted. She suspected it was because she had felt so invisible before. He was showing her some bit of attention and she craved it. When his hand snaked around and hesitated over her stomach she smiled. It showed that he was learning. She had gone off on him before about invading her personal space to feel the baby. He remembered. Quinn smiled. She took his larger hand in hers before pressing it to her stomach. She pressed it against the exact spot she felt the stirring inside her. Their baby was stretching.

Puck felt it. She knew that he felt it by the way his breath caught in his throat. It was always a sound that made a grin flood across her face. The little life inside her was certainly a reason to be amazed. Puck never forgot that though sometimes it appeared that he did. She kept her hand over his until eventually he was the one to grip hers. He laced their fingers together and pressed a kiss against her hair. He was being uncharacteristically gentle and Quinn found that she enjoyed this side of him much more. It was a side that he normally never let anyone see.

Quinn turned just a bit so that half of her body was facing him. She had dropped his hand while executing the movement and her hand hovered near his face. The pads of her fingers traced along his jaw. Puck stared down at her expectantly. Quinn's own eyes had slipped toward his lips. Again she questioned her own motives. Was it possible that seeing Jesse and Rachel had messed with her head just a little too much? But then she decided she didn't want to think about Rachel while she was with Puck. She didn't want to think about Jesse while she was with Puck. But Jesse was almost always there in the back of her mind. So did she actually just manage to forget about him the whole time Puck was there?

She didn't get the chance to answer her own inner debate. Puck had seemed to take matters into his own hands and she soon found his lips pressed against hers. She admitted to herself two seconds into the kiss that she had missed his kisses. Maybe that was why she caved so fast. Maybe that was why she found herself kissing him back when two days ago she might have shoved him away. She was content to be there with Puck because the rest of the world melted away for a couple of seconds. Her stupid envious feelings about Jesse and Rachel fell away. Except they didn't because she literally just thought about them. It was then that her eyes snapped open because she realized for a second she had thought about Jesse while kissing Puck.

She broke the kiss and fought every urge in her body to jump away from the man in front of her. That wouldn't look very good. Instead she cleared her throat before smiling. Puck's eyes were still closed and his lips were still parted. Honestly he looked adorable and Quinn found herself stroking his cheek. His eyes opened then and she let her hand fall limply at her side. He was staring at her with questions obviously present in his eyes. She shrugged but it was that moment that his little sister decided to scream for her older brother. She watched as Puck sighed with irritation before shooting her an apologetic look and pulled away.

"Puck," She reached out and gripped his arm when he moved to head upstairs. He turned, his head cocked to the side. "Can we, uhm, do you think...would you mind if...oh this sounds so bad."

"What is it, babe?" He flinched when he heard his sister screech his name again. He was content to ignore her for just a bit.

"Can we just pretend that didn't happen?" Quinn avoided his gaze. She didn't want to see his expression. But she was curious. She was so curious and that was why she looked up. She wished he hadn't. He looked confused, irritated, angry, and hurt all at the same time.

"Why?" He finally asked after a beat.

"Because it's going to complicate things. I told you before; I don't think this is a good idea. You're only sticking around for the baby." She cleared her throat and took a step away from him. She needed distance.

"Like hell I am." There it was. Quinn could deal with the anger. She preferred it to the hurt Puck.

"Please, just, please forget that this even happened." Now she reached forward and grasped one of his hands between both of hers. She tried to force him to look at her but he wouldn't. He was staring at their hands. Then he yanked his away from her.

"Why the hell did you even kiss me back then? If you were just going to retract it why would you do it in the first place?" His tone made Quinn flinch. He was hurt and he was trying to mask it with anger.

"I don't know!" She flicked a stray hair away from her eyes. "I don't know, maybe it was my hormones or something?"

"Yeah or something." His voice was a growl. "Fine, whatever. It never happened. Are you happy?"

Quinn didn't get the chance to respond. Puck had moved quickly as he walked away from her. He was up the stairs within seconds and eventually he disappeared from view. Quinn swallowed hard. She blamed everything on her hormones lately. It would seem that Puck had finally noticed. She coughed. It was an awkward sound because she was coughing to make the lump in her throat fade away. She didn't know what had possessed her to kiss Puck. It was a horrible idea. She could see that now.

Oh what had she just gotten herself into? Quinn sighed before walking into the kitchen. She decided she just needed to try and do exactly what she had asked Puck to do. She needed to forget that little incident. She could pretend it really never happened if she wanted to...couldn't she? It shouldn't be so hard. Quinn was still lost in her inner debate while she poured herself a glass of water. Then her eyes settled on the counter, searching for the one thing she was always craving lately.

There was not bacon in sight and she sighed. How cruel was it that the one thing she really craved while pregnant she couldn't eat? She didn't even know why Puck's mom wouldn't let her eat it either. She had been sincerely hoping that there would have been some left out since breakfast or something. She shouldn't have hoped for anything. His mom was much smarter than that. She was pouting and she was well aware of it. But she just huffed and walked out with her glass of water in hand. She dreaded going up the stairs so much.

Quinn paused before reaching her door, her gaze lingered in the general direction of Puck's room. She hesitated. She wanted to walk up to the door and apologize. The only problem was that she wasn't sorry. She wasn't sure what she was sorry about either. She didn't know if she was sorry for kissing him or sorry for denying it happened. She suspected, since she knew she wasn't actually sorry, that her apology didn't apply to either of the choices. So she squared her shoulders, stood straighter and walked straight into her room without looking back.

She settled onto the bed, setting her bag down to rest against it on the floor. She held her cell phone in her hands. She had pulled it out while she was staring at Puck's door. She glared down at the device. She didn't want to text him. She didn't have to text him. Yet, Quinn realized with a snort of disbelief, that she truly did want to talk to him. She missed him. She was upset that he hadn't _contacted her_. She hissed through clenched teeth while opening the cell phone. She flipped through her contacts until it Jesse's name was highlighted. She hit the call button. It gave her the option to either text or call him.

Quinn wasn't sure what she wanted to do. Her thumb hovered for a moment, debating. She tried to breathe slowly. She needed to calm down otherwise she would just sound angry. In both text form or just by the sound of her voice. She hit send and she pressed the phone to her ear. It rang once. It rang twice and Quinn fought back the grin. His phone wasn't off but he could still send her call straight to voice mail. She clenched her jaw. It rang a fourth time. Five...six...he picked up.

"Hello?"

"So I guess it's safe to say you're back in town." Quinn spoke with a clear voice. Her head wasn't entirely clear but at least she managed to keep anything from leaking into her voice.

"What would've given you that idea?" He asked on the other end. Quinn hoped he was teasing.

"You're joking right?" She asked with an arched brow.

"No, Quinn, I'm being completely serious. It's not like I didn't see you walk out with Puck or anything. Yes, I'm joking." Once he finished Quinn wasn't sure how to take that comment. He sounded friendly but the way it was worded seemed a little harsh.

"You didn't tell me you were coming back," She replied. Quinn did her best to keep from sounding like an upset girlfriend. Because that was Rachel's job, not hers.

"To be honest I didn't tell anyone I was coming back."

"Rachel sure seemed to know when I saw you guys earlier." Quinn cringed. Yeah she so didn't sound like a jealous girlfriend at all.

"Well unless you were also there when I talked to her in the dance room then you don't really know what you're talking about." He was still teasing. Quinn was thankful that even when he was being defensive he didn't get angry. "She didn't really act upset at all since, you know, the whole bad reputation video had put a strain on our relationship. She didn't really have a right to be angry."

_You don't have a right to be angry_. It was the unsaid sentence that hung in the air. Of course, Quinn wasn't sure if that was what Jesse was hinting at. That was certainly what Quinn heard in her head. She could even hear him saying it too. But Quinn hadn't entirely focused on that. She kept hearing _our relationship_. She pulled at a loose string on the comforter with a little bit too much force. She was silent. He was silent.

"Sorry. It must be the baby making me all moody." Her tone was clipped. Oh, and there she went blaming everything on the baby again. Speaking of the baby in question gave a rather hard kick that had Quinn pressing her palm against her stomach. Baby didn't like being blamed.

"You didn't wait for me after school today," He replied, completely ignoring her statement. "You didn't know I was back, I'll give you that. But you did see me. Apparently you saw me before I saw you. If you had called me I would have given you a ride home."

"It looked like you needed some time alone with your girlfriend." Quinn cringed again. She had stressed the last word without meaning to. "Besides I got a ride from Puck anyway."

"Yeah I saw."

"So, uh, you had a good spring break?" Quinn tried to bring up something, anything to distract from that awkward silence.

"It was fine," He replied. He wasn't making conversation that was bad.

"I'm glad."

Quinn smoothed invisible wrinkles on her dress. This whole conversation was a big bucket of awkward. She didn't like it. They had never talked to each other with awkward pauses. This was something entirely different. She wanted the old times back. Then she had to fight back a snort because they didn't exactly have any 'old times' to begin with. There were just conversations from a couple of weeks ago.

"Dude! What the hell?"

Quinn jumped. Her hand had shot up to her throat and her eyes zeroed in on the door. It was then that she heard the sound of a video game. The sounds of shots firing were closely followed by a string of curses. She shook her head. Puck was burying himself in video games. Again. Was it just her imagination or did the game get louder? But Quinn couldn't concentrate on that for very long because she heard a chuckle against her ear.

"Was that Puck?"

"You could hear that?" She asked with a laugh of disbelief.

"How could I not? He shouted it."

"Mm well welcome to my home life."

"Do you need me to come rescue you?"

Quinn didn't respond. Not right away at least. With one simple bit from Puck the conversation had picked up again. Well, sort of. But at least it hadn't been full of awkward pauses. Things had seemed almost, well, almost normal. Or as normal as it could get with their strange friendship. She felt like she should thank Puck for that. She smiled and weighed around the option. She totally could leave right then. She could have Jesse pick her up. The more she thought about it the more she wanted out of the house.

"Yes. Would you mind?" She asked just to be sure.

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't being serious. I'll be there soon okay?"

Quinn hung up the phone. It certainly was soon. Because Quinn was anxious to get out of the house and time seemed to be dragging. So he had to have hurried because though time was moving horribly slow, he still got there relatively quickly. She had slipped out of the house after telling Puck's little sister to tell her brother or mother (whoever asked first) that she had gone to meet her language tutor. She had smiled a painfully large grin that she suspected made her look a little suspicious.

"Where would you like to go?" Jesse asked as she got into the car.

"A diner if at all possible. Puck's mom doesn't let me eat bacon. Too bad it's one of those foods that I'm craving like you wouldn't believe."

* * *

Quinn was smiling during glee rehearsal. It wasn't a small little half smile either. Oh no it was a full blown grin. It was the sort of grin that hurt her cheeks and made her feel like a Barbie. The past few days had been far more entertaining than the past week. Jesse was back so their banter was back full force. They had begun their after school conversations again. In fact, they started back up like there had never been a week where they hadn't occurred. It all felt very normal to her.

Jesse still had Rachel though. One day he let it slip that his girlfriend was having a bit of a crisis. He wouldn't elaborate any and Quinn wasn't all that curious. With Rachel there was always a crisis. He just said that he wouldn't be able to pick her up later because he would be going to Rachel's house. Quinn had only teased him by saying she'd be fine without bacon for a day. She threw in that she needed a break from him anyway. It earned a laugh which was the whole point.

Now glee rehearsal had slipped back into some form of normalcy. The club had asked Mr. Schue about Bryan Ryan and his threats and the Spanish teacher had this little smile on his face. He tried to assure the club that they didn't have to worry about it anymore. Quinn highly doubted that was the case but he seemed to sure of himself and it put some of their minds at ease. She smiled with the rest of them and did her very best to put on a show face that could rival Jesse's. She even started to believe it for maybe five minutes. Then the doubt flew back in full force. Yet even with that lingering over her head she couldn't stop that stupid grin.

Except now it seemed to fall from her face. Well, it was for obvious reasons. Or that's what her conscience or whatever was telling her. They had all pulled out the sheet music for a new song they were supposed to be working on. Of course Mr. Schue had decided that was when he needed to go disappear and use the bathroom. He left a room full of teenagers shooting daggers at Jesse St. James. Why were they doing that? Well, all Jesse had done was mention that Finn had gone flat on his last note. Finn had stared at the miva with wide eyes while his mouth fell open and shut again like a fish out of water. Quinn thought the look was adorable until everyone's eyes narrowed on Jesse.

Finn shot a look toward Rachel who was avoiding his gaze. Quinn thought Rachel seemed like she was lost in her own world anyway and Quinn was painfully aware of that today since the diva had chosen a vacant seat beside her. Rachel hadn't said a word about Finn being flat which was odd behavior for the perfectionist. Musically if Rachel heard a single flaw she would point it out without abandon. Now she just stared straight at the ground. Quinn doubted Rachel even knew Finn had been flat to begin with. She doubted that Rachel had noticed anything that had transpired in the last five minutes. Finn seemed to realize that too. At first he looked concerned but then he locked eyes with Quinn and he quickly focused on Jesse again.

"I could help you with that note," Jesse began as he stood up. "I believe the problem is that you don't have enough air to carry the note out. Therefore it goes flat."

Quinn fought a smile. Jesse was holding back, it was almost painfully obvious. Or it was to Quinn. She wasn't sure if the rest of the club was aware of that. Jesse's statement had been brief and straight to the point. He probably wanted to say so much more about it. No, Quinn was certain he had wanted to say so much more. Jesse had restraint though, an admirable amount of it. Though now it would appear he was using quite a bit of it as the room fell silent. She fought a giggle that threatened to break free from her throat. Jesse's jaw had clenched ever so slightly.

"I don't need your help."

"Finn, be reasonable. That note isn't going to fix itself. You have to work on it." Jesse fists were tightening at his sides.

"Then I'll have Mr. Schue help me with it." Finn's voice was crisp and Quinn watched the jock's jaw muscle flinch. Jesse's had done the same moments earlier.

"If you think that's best," Jesse said after a beat. His brow had furrowed and his lips were turned down. "I was just trying to be helpful. You seem to be struggling with this song."

"Dude, just back off!"

Quinn eye's shot toward the direction the voice had come from. She had been watching Finn. She had been waiting for him to say something but his lips had not moved. Her eyes blurred for a moment and she blinked rapidly. Her eyes had settled on Puck. He was seated to the right of Brittany. She had twist around in her chair just to look at him. His shirt was dark and it clung to his form and Quinn quickly lowered her gaze after making eye contact. The two hadn't really spoken since the whole incident that never happened. Quinn tried not to think about it. It made her feel guilty.

"He doesn't want your help. So do yourself a favor and stop having an opinion and just sit back down." Puck's voice was laced with malice. Quinn didn't really understand why. He had no reason to be too harsh with Jesse. She cringed.

"I have a right to my opinion." Jesse tried to argue his point after that but the rest of the club decided then to gang up on him. Quinn turned to her left to look at Rachel. She seemed painfully oblivious.

"What are you going to have an opinion of next? That Matt doesn't deserve to sing his part either? That Mike and Brittany's dance moves aren't up to standards? If you don't like it here, if you have such a strong opinion then, dude, maybe you should just go back to Vocal Adrenaline. We're all expecting it any day now. You'd be doing most of us a favor."

It all happened rather quickly then. It was like Jesse didn't even get the chance to defend himself because, really, he didn't. Everyone decided to speak at once then. Their voices all sort of blended into one and the volume was constantly increasing. If there was one positive thing about the whole situation, if Quinn had to pick _one thing_, it was that all the chaos seemed to break Rachel out of whatever dreamland she had been visited. She looked around startled; her dark eyes fell on Jesse before narrowing on everyone else. She tried to figure out what they were saying. She was frantically trying to understand one voice out of all of them.

"What is going on?"

Everyone looked toward the door. Quinn could not have been more grateful for the appearance of Mr. Schue. She had been about ready to dramatically clutch at her head. All those voices at once sounded like fingernails on a chalk board. She smiled in relief before it faded. The voices started up again. Each one tried to explain what had happened to their director. The sounds all bled together in one annoying, shrill hum. Quinn snuck at a glance at Jesse who looked horribly uncomfortable. She felt a single nerve twitch, she couldn't stand much more of this nonsense. It wasn't until someone said (she suspected it was Finn or Puck) that Jesse didn't deserve to be here, that Mr. Schue should just save everyone the trouble and find a way to get rid of him.

"Stop it!"

Quinn's eyes had widened. It took her a moment to realize that the voice had come from her. She glanced at Rachel who was staring at her with an expression matching her own. Quinn had suspected for a moment that it was Rachel that had finally spoke. The nerve twitched again and Quinn realized she was the one to speak at the volume she did. She glanced toward Jesse who looked equally surprised. Though he flashed her the smallest of smiles.

"He doesn't deserve to be here? Do you all honestly believe that? Why doesn't he have the right to be here? Someone please enlighten me because I'm drawing a blank."

"Well-"

"That was a rhetorical question," She hissed venomously, shooting at glare toward Santana who had begun to speak. "So he was in Vocal Adrenaline, big freaking deal. Half of you think he's a spy, I get it I really do, but that's no reason to treat him with zero respect."

"Quinn-"

"Mr. Schue please just let me finish!" Quinn's voice quivered a little and she watched the older man fall onto the stool he usually sat in.

"I, uh, proceed." Mr. Schue looked like he had the world's biggest headache but Quinn said her thanks before continuing.

"For these past few weeks you've been treating him like crap. Jesse's a human being. He might not show it but I'm guessing that your comments all sting. I'd be offended and hurt too if I put up with that much verbal abuse." Quinn swallowed, realizing she did put up with some. But she never put up with it from her teammates. "He's held out much longer than I would have. I would have quit a long time ago. Yes, I know that's what most of you want but try to look at things from his shoes for once! He transferred schools to be with someone he really cares about and people who are supposed to be his teammates are treating him like some freaking terrorist or something!"

"Quinn, your face is turning red. Maybe you should, I don't know, try to calm down or something."

"Finn! Shut up!" She sucked in a breath anyway. She sucked in a few actually and tried to calm herself down. "My point is that I'm really sick of the way you're all treating him. You act like he doesn't exist or that his opinion doesn't matter but guess what? It does. He's a part of the team now and you all just have to accept that. Did any of you ever stop to think that we could use his experience to our advantage? He's been a show choir that frankly, is ten times better than us. He could help us more than any of us could ever realize and no one is giving him the chance. I wish you could just listen to his advice just once, _just once_, because I can guarantee that it would make us so much better."

Everyone was silent. Quinn literally thought she heard a pen drop but she had no idea where the pen could have come from. She flicked a strand of hair away from her face. She was out of breath but a grin had spread across her face. She had finally gotten to say what had been bothering her lately and it felt good. The silence did sort of bother her though. Whenever she pictured this scenario in her head people clapped or cheered or did something. But no one was doing_ anything_ and it was just so damn...frustrating.

Everyone looked so freaking shocked. It was like they all forgot she could talk or something. The looks made her feel a little uncomfortable and she stirred in her seat. When she looked up her eyes automatically found Jesse. He was staring at her with the strangest expression and his mouth and formed this silly looking grin. Something was flickering around in his eyes but Quinn didn't try to interpret it. She suspected she didn't want to so she just admired the color instead. It was Mr. Schue who recovered first though he had been in a sort of daze just like the rest of them seconds before.

"Quinn is right," He began while he stood. He had taken on that teacher slash almost concerned parent tone of voice that he had. "We have been treating Jesse poorly, I apologize. I'm sorry that we haven't fully accepted you or listened to your creative input."

Quinn wanted to snort. She fought the urge. Mr. Schue had done his best to sound sincere and Quinn suspected at that moment he was. Still she figured everyone would forget about this soon enough. They would go back to treating Jesse just the way they had been previously. The clubbers functioned like clock word. Still they seemed content (only not really) to go along with what their director was saying. No one wanted to question him. Although Quinn suspected they just didn't want to hear her go off on them again. She sneaked a look at Rachel who was grinning at her from ear to ear. She cringed.

Quinn noticed for the first time that Jesse had moved back to his seat between Rachel and Tina. Rachel was gripping Jesse's hand in hers. Quinn felt her facial expression morph into that cringe again. Jesse was still smiling at her though and he mouthed a thank you. She felt her cheeks heat up and she quickly looked away before she could allow herself to blush. Mr. Schue looked over toward Finn and Matt who were standing by the piano. He sighed before glancing toward Jesse and gesturing for him to stand up.

"Come on. I want your input on this song. There have been some issues with notes."

That was exactly how Jesse ended up by the piano with Finn and Matt when Bryan Ryan strolled into the room ten minutes later. He had been pushing a box and everyone had immediately shut up when he entered. It was like no one breathed. They were afraid to. When he started pulling out his gifts Quinn felt herself fight back a laugh of disbelief. As soon as he threw his tantrum and walked out she was rolling her eyes. In the back of her mind though she wanted to scream. If he did cut glee club she had no idea what she would do.

Quinn pulled out her phone and her fingers flew across the keys.

_He's such a drama queen. Please take note of his behavior and make sure your diva tendencies never go that far._

She watched Jesse pull out his phone and smile before quickly texting her back. He slipped his phone back in his pocket and glanced at Mr. Schue who seemed to have lost the ability to speak.

_Behavior noted. I'll do my best to keep from becoming a heartless attention whore set on destroying glee clubs. Thank you for earlier._

Quinn rolled her eyes before her fingers began pushing on the key pad. She could feel someone watching her but she waited until she had finished her text to turn around. She saw Puck staring intently at her though Santana was obviously trying to hold his attention. She threw a smile his way and she felt just a little bit better when she saw his lips twitch upward. Even if it vanished just as quickly as it came.

_Don't mention it. Rachel was lost in lala land so I figured someone had to stand up for you. I got sick of hearing insults hurled at you anyway. Oh and by the way, I was so right._

The texts came quickly and eventually Quinn and Jesse were hardly even pausing before replying.

_She's got a lot on her plate right now. I don't blame her at all. Sure you were. You're right about so many things. But what, pray tell, were you right about this time?_

Quinn grinned. She had been doing a lot of that today. She figured it had everything to do with Jesse. No, she had to argue with herself. There was no _figuring_ anything. She _knew _that it had everything to do with Jesse. She felt that familiar prickling sensation under her skin again and she turned to see if Puck was still watching her. This time he was staring at Santana. Quinn frowned and looked to her right. Rachel was openly staring at her. Her focus went from the phone in her lap to her face. A single brow was arched.

Quinn couldn't even think about the suspicion resting in her dark eyes. She just stared back at Rachel while her thumb applied pressure to the green button on the key pad. When she glanced down her screen read that the message was sent. She didn't even glance at Jesse to see his reaction when he read the text message. Rachel was already watching him enough for the both of them. Quinn watched her facial expression instead as it dawned on her that Quinn was in fact texting her boyfriend. She wondered if Rachel had noticed it from the beginning.

_The song already sounds so much better._


	7. Interlude: Jesse St James

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Author's note:

Welcome to the mind of Jesse St. James! I hope you all enjoy this little chapter. Just so you all know this chapter takes place the night before the last one.

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OKAY THIS NEXT BIT IS VERY IMPORTANT.

My friend and I made a St. Fabray tumblr so you should definitely follow us, just saying.

fuckyeahjessequinn(dot)tumblr(dot)com

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You should definitely check it out.

Thank you to everyone that reviewed!

To my anonymous readers! I love you guys I really do! A lot of you leave me reviews that I so wish I could reply to. :/ I might just add your replies at the bottom of each chapter. I try to get back to everyone that has reviewed and I'm going to try and start doing the same for all of you.

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Jesse didn't know for sure what emotion swarmed over him earlier. Even now as he settled in his bed (technically it was his uncle's guest bedroom bed but whatever) his mind drifted back to the previous events. It just would not fade from his memory. He could not even force it out. The whole situation was ridiculous. He couldn't even come up with a better adjective to describe it. After all he had so many other things that he could be wrapping his mind around. Many other

_important _things. He did not need to think about picturing Quinn with Puck. Or Puck with Quinn ... the two of them together ... especially what she admitted earlier...

"Ugh!" Jesse exclaimed before falling back against the mattress. There he went again thinking about it. If this progressed further he would have to undergo shock therapy or something.

After all, he needed to focus on those more important things. He didn't need anything else polluting his thoughts. Especially since those thoughts were making his head a horrible dark, murky mess. No, he had better things to worry about. Like Rachel and her outright refusal to listen to the tape. The very tape that he worked so vigorously to plant in the first place. His girlfriend's ability to be stubborn and difficult was not helping his mission at all. He couldn't understand why she wouldn't just listen to the damn thing. She was ruining everything and she didn't even realize it.

Yet Jesse could not find it in himself to feel enraged by her behavior. He couldn't find the strength to be livid. Any anger he might have felt had faded a long time ago. Seeing her so distraught had pulled at his heartstrings. If he was still even the smallest bit angry, it was directed at Shelby. She had told him to do this in the first place. He had made that first date with Rachel specifically because he was attracted to her. After he had admitted it to Shelby, she had pulled every trick she had to get him away from Rachel Berry. It wasn't until a shouting match had erupted that the truth came sputtering out of his director's mouth. Afterward they stood staring at each other in disbelief before this grin flooded Shelby's face. Right then and there she created her diabolical master plan. He had quickly agreed.

Now (because of course he had to have his revelation now) he realized what a mistake that had been. That tug at his heart strings had been due to the fact that he had feelings for Miss Rachel Berry. Though he figured he had no one to blame but himself. Sure, Shelby had used the word _befriend _and not _seduce_ when she told him to get close with her daughter. How was that supposed to work? Jesse had asked Rachel out on a date. Was he supposed to suddenly decide he lost interest? Yeah, because then it would be so much easier to worm his way into her life. Besides Shelby didn't complain when she saw him kissing her daughter.

Of course, he should have realized the dangers of seducing the star of New Directions. The possibility of actually falling for her was always there. He had ignored it because Jesse St. James thought he was invincible. He was carved straight from stone as far as anyone else knew. Rachel Berry had pierced through his rocky armor and nestled herself there with him on the inside. If anyone ever got him to admit it, he would add that a certain blonde ex-Cheerio had found her way inside as well. No one had gotten him to admit it though. That and he was trying not to think about her.

Jesse frowned to himself. He seriously needed to focus on how to get Rachel to listen to the tape. Shelby had insisted on it. He had never been able to deny his director anything.

He could still remember drifting into Carmel High's auditorium for the first time. He had been a wide-eyed freshman then. By the end of the year, Shelby had turned his uncertain smile into a confident smirk. Others would claim that he was always arrogant and sure of himself. After all, he made it a point to make it appear that way. The truth was that Shelby had molded that persona. He owed her everything. So he always worked to get the choreography perfect. He worked with numerous vocal teachers to extend his range just a little further. He never let his show face falter. He stayed past the end of every rehearsal. He even agreed to seduce (oh, sorry, befriend) her daughter.

He and Shelby had never really had a heart to heart before. The friendship already seemed iffy to others. He did trust her though. Maybe that was why he took the conversation in the car so seriously. She had never opened herself up to him like that before. She had never let her walls down and invited him in. The way he figured, the conversation in the car was a one-time thing. The Shelby that he saw was not the Shelby he was used to. She wasn't the director he was comfortable with. The Shelby in the car was broken. She was broken and Jesse found that he wanted to fix her. The only way to do that was to reunite her with that daughter she gave up so long ago.

He just never imagined it would be so hard. Because hard was exactly the way this should be described. It was the only way this could be described.

_"I actually kind of like her. I don't want her to get hurt."_

It was his own voice that he heard in his head. That phrase kept repeating. It was like an annoying song you heard on the radio that stuck for hours. It bothered him. It wasn't the sentences themselves. It was more of the meaning behind the statement that hit him. His cheek stung as if it had actually hit him in the face. Of course, that wasn't possible but it made his head spin around all the same.

Frankly, he didn't know who that statement was directed at. It didn't strike him as false because he certainly had not lied. He knew for a fact that he hadn't lied. It was just that he didn't know who he was referring to. He didn't know who he actually liked. He didn't know who he didn't want to get hurt. It took him awhile to realize that he had been referring to both Rachel and Quinn.

Rachel for obvious reasons. She was his girlfriend, after all. It didn't matter (only it did) that he had taken on the role of boyfriend because it would be a good acting experience. The start of the relationship had been all him. Then Shelby added herself in like some instant mix. That attraction he held for Rachel had not faded. If anything it had grown larger. It didn't matter (except it did!) that this was an assignment. He cared about Rachel. He accepted that after exiting Shelby's car. Initially he thought the comment was clearly about Rachel. It wasn't until later that he realized when he said it there were two faces in his head instead of just one.

The second face he wasn't willing to admit he cared about. It was so painfully obvious but he didn't want to accept it. Jesse didn't think he could accept it.

Quinn Fabray was the last person he expected to befriend. The little band of misfits were just that: misfits. They all treated him with equal suspicion. Most of their looks were filled with malice. He could understand that. He would feel the same way if an enemy ever joined Vocal Adrenaline (not that Shelby ever would let that happen). Quinn never looked quite so full of hate, but he assumed that she didn't exactly like him. None of them did. Then she wandered into the choir room one afternoon and everything changed.

Their friendship was a strange one. Strange was the only way he could think to describe it. It didn't make sense to him at all. But he had let her in. Well, he let her in as much as possible. Their relationship had been purely platonic and they still kept it a secret. It was as if they felt like they both had something to hide. Of course, that was silly because they were just friends. That was all the glee club would know. Except she was so much more than a friend. It didn't help that his feelings toward her seemed more than platonic lately.

Jesse sat up and buried his face in his hands. He never expected things to turn out this way. He hadn't even realized his feelings toward Quinn had shifted from anything but friendly until earlier that afternoon. He had buried it and locked it away as soon as he climbed into Shelby's car. Now the events assaulted him. He remembered it perfectly. Eventually he allowed himself to think about it and the view of his bedroom (uncle's guestroom, actually) blended into that of a diner.

_They were seated in a booth with a window facing the street. Quinn's eyes kept dancing toward the figures walking about. Her fingers were wrapped around the straw, pinching it, before bringing it to her lips. Jesse had noticed her hand resting against her protruding belly. He noticed that she often sat like that. It looked so comfortable as if it just came naturally. He figured it probably did. He smiled to himself._

_He had to keep himself from looking away from the blonde in front of him. He let his eyes linger on her form or near it. He had made the mistake of looking around earlier. The obvious disgust and disbelief was present in almost every patron's eyes. They would glance over at their table every once in awhile. They would whisper amongst themselves horrible things. He didn't want to hear them. He feared he'd end up doing something to put a stop to the talk. Only his idea of ending it was something more physical than verbal. _

_"Jesse?"_

_Quinn's voice pierced through whatever wall he had managed to build around himself in the last five minutes. When he looked up he found her looking at him with a single brow arched. It was an expression he was used to seeing and it automatically made him want to mimic it. In fact he did which made her to laugh softly as she rolled her eyes. He grinned before taking a sip of his coffee. His eyes were still locked with hers over the rim of the cup._

_"Yes?"_

_"If I ask you a question will you answer me with complete honesty?"_

_"Can I steal a piece of bacon if I say yes?" Jesse set the cup back on the table after his comment. A playful smile had crossed his face._

_"I'm being serious."_

_"Oh," he began before trying to keep the smile in place. She seemed troubled and he was beginning to wonder if cracking a joke was the right thing to do. "Yes, of course."_

_"Do you think that there's something wrong with me?" She swallowed once. "I mean, I just always seem to hurt people. My actions always seem to have negative results and I just. I hurt people. It's what I do."_

_He didn't answer her. Not right away at least. He pondered her question. He wanted to reply his negative response but he wasn't even sure why she was thinking about it to begin with. He couldn't imagine what would have brought on a question like this. Unless, of course, she had been thinking about it for sometime. Or at the very least since they got to the diner. Something must have happened to make her question herself. He smiled a pitiful sort of smile; he wished he hadn't even tried. Before he could even open his mouth Quinn had jumped back in._

_"I'm responsible for so many rumors. I convinced people to slushie so many other people. I lied to Finn, I cheated on him with his best friend and then I lied to him. I disappointed my parents. I made them ashamed of me. I even kissed Puck earlier and made him promise it never happened. I-"_

_"You kissed Puck?" Jesse bit his tongue. He bit down hard. He tasted copper and salt. _

_"I, well, yeah I did."_

_"Earlier as in earlier today?"_

_"Right before I called you actually," Quinn's voice trailed off and she bit her lip. _

_"Why would you make him promise that?" Jesse swallowed after he spoke. Quinn looked like she was caught off guard. If she had expected him to say anything it obviously hadn't been that._

_"Because I don't think it's a good idea to get involved with him right now," she admitted after she had released her lip. "Either way, I hurt him. I hurt people, Jesse. You've heard all about it around school."_

_"Quinn, stop it. You've made mistakes—everybody does. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you."_

_A silence settled over the table then. Jesse leaned back in his seat. Quinn looked, well, he wasn't sure if he could describe Quinn's look. She looked upset and he wondered if he had said the wrong thing. But then she smiled and her smile was infectious and he found himself doing the same. He figured she was smiling to herself because she as staring at the table top instead of looking at him. Either way he made her smile and it somehow made him feel accomplished. Her smile lit up her face in such a way that it reminded him of angels that so many artists painted. She even had the rosy cheeks, the blonde curls that fell in front of her face, the full lips._

_"Thank you."_

_Jesse shook himself from his thoughts. He tried to keep the look of disbelief away from his features. Quinn Fabray was attractive; he had always noticed that. Everyone did. She was beautiful in any sense. Even though he had always acknowledged that, he had never thought that he was attracted to her. Not in a romantic sense. She was a friend—a really good friend. But just then he felt something stir in his stomach. He had felt a flare of jealousy (it took so much to admit that because Jesse St. James didn't do jealous) earlier when he saw her leave with Puck. He had felt it moments before when she mentioned kissing Puck. How could he have ignored that stirring for so long?_

_"Jesse?"_

_When he looked up he saw Quinn pushing a plate of bacon in his direction. He decided then to keep whatever had just occurred in his head to himself. He buried it back behind everything else that was clouding his thoughts. He shoved it there so that he could only look at it again when he dug away at everything else first._

_"You answered me honestly. Didn't you say something about wanting a piece of bacon if you did?"_

Despite the entire turmoil surrounding his current state of mind, he could still feel a smile touch his lips as he thought about the earlier events of the day. Quinn had never appeared quite so vulnerable. He had been able to view a new side of her and, he hoped, that he had killed any of her self-doubt. As far as he was aware, Quinn really wasn't confident in herself. Not anymore at least. He hated seeing it. He knew that she had every right to feel the way she did because she had gone through so much. That didn't mean he wanted it to stay.

The pregnancy had been hard on her. He hadn't exactly heard it from Quinn because they didn't really talk about those things. But he had heard it around McKinley. He wasn't sure what to believe, though. He hadn't heard anything from her so if he believed anything it was what he had heard in Glee. Not that any of that mattered. He just wished that Quinn didn't have to go through any of it alone. It didn't help that she was having problems with Puck.

Although, if he was being honest somewhere deep down, he was secretly glad that she and Puck were having problems. But how horrible was that? It was completely messed up. He shouldn't be happy about anything of the sort. But he was. What sort of person did that make him? Apparently not a great one. It wasn't like he could exactly stop whatever he was feeling. If he could then he would have smothered it with a pillow a long time ago. He couldn't though. He cared about Quinn Fabray more than he was willing to admit.

The whole thing frustrated him so much more than he wanted to believe. He didn't want to think about Puck and Quinn. He didn't want to think about anything anymore.

Jesse was about ready to scream. He fell back against the bed and his eyes focused on the ceiling. If he stared long enough he could see faces in the patterns on the wall. His eyes shut after he saw the fifth one. He hoped that when he woke up in the morning that he could forget about all of this. Mostly he wanted to forget about any feelings concerning Quinn. He needed to focus on Rachel instead. He needed to get her to listen to that tape. That should have been all that mattered. That was all that he needed to think about.

Jesse visibly relaxed. He was ready for sleep.

If he had prepared himself for anything, he had prepared himself to get Rachel to listen to the tape the following day. He never could have imagined what would actually occur in glee club the next morning.

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Zodiac: Thank you for reviewing! I'll try to update sooner so you stop going through withdrawal.

Anon: I love reviews in general just like most authors. The long, thought out reviews are my favorite though and you always tend to leave those. I'm glad that you think that I keep everyone in character because I try really hard to. I'll do my best to make the wait short but honestly I haven't even started the next chapter.

littlemonkey: Thank you! I'm honored that you think this is the best fic you've read.

Peyton: Haha is it bad that I have a stupid grin on my face when I write the chapters? Seriously my friend and I sit there and talk about how silly we think we are for getting so excited over characters. I'm glad that you like the story! Thank you for the review.

km: I'm sorry I kept you waiting. I'll try to update sooner. Thank you for the review.

JQ: I have to agree. That picture did fit perfectly. Thank you for reviewing!

TheGreatFlyingKiki: I'm a St. Berry fan too so this whole thing almost doesn't make sense to me. I love St. Fabray all the same though. I blame it on my love for Jon and Dianna and Jesse and Quinn. Oh trust me I won't make him cheat on Rachel. There's a bit of emotional cheating (but Finn was also guilty of that as well as Will) but there won't be any physical cheating of any sort. I'm trying to keep this in time with the show so if anything does happen it will be after Jesse and Rachel end things. Thank you for reading, reviewing, and adding this to your favorites!


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:**I feel like I should be apologizing quite a bit right now. I think that I promised to try and update earlier but, clearly, I failed at that. This chapter just needed time I guess. It was a pain to write but I think that I really do like the finished project. I'm also hoping that it just might make up for my absence because it's almost entirely St Fabray. Seriously they interact throughout like the whole thing. Plus this is technically my longest chapter yet.

I'm not going to make any promises on when I'll be updating next. School starts back up for me next week. I wish I could say that it won't affect anything but it probably will. Although I honestly probably do write more in class than anything. That's how it worked last year anyway.

Right about now I'm going to shamelessly promote myself. I changed my homepage and you should all check it out (:

Please continue to read and review! Your reviews make my day, they really do.

Enjoy the chapter!

A special thanks to my beta **_markedandtied_**. I know that I probably take advantage of you just a little bit but I love that you fangirl with me while reading (:

_Started: July 6. Finished: August 9._

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"Rachel knows, Jesse."

Quinn's voice rang loudly. It almost echoed in her ears. It was one of those annoying high-pitched noises that everyone wished would just shut off. It was that sound everyone set their cell phone ring tones to at some point because adults weren't supposed to be able to hear them. Quinn had always hated them because they gave her headaches. Now wasn't any different. Only now her own voice sounded like that and she clamped her mouth shut to keep from saying anything else. She couldn't stand to hear that sound another minute, even if it was only in her imagination.

She watched the realization settle on Jesse's face. She noticed that he looked a little relieved. But then that emotion disappeared as quickly as it came. She wondered if that look was part of her imagination too. She wouldn't doubt it. He nodded once. He nodded again. She suspected the first nod was for himself while the second was directed at her. It made sense in her head.

Quinn's stomach was in knots. It felt like every muscle in her body tensed. They were coiled, locked tight and ready to spring at any moment. Yet, strangely, she felt calm. It was such a contradiction to say that she felt relaxed when she just said she felt tense. Somehow it all made sense in her head, like most things that never really did make much sense at all.

It surprised her that Jesse seemed to match that description perfectly. His body was tense. There were muscles that were obviously flexed (not that she was staring or anything). His face was completely calm though. There wasn't a single crease marring his features. His expression looked completely neutral. Well, it did up until one corner of his lips quirked up. Then he just looked happy. Quinn couldn't imagine why.

"Is there a reason why you look so pleased?" Quinn asked with a single brow arched.

"Should I not be?"

"I don't know, Jesse. Do you think there's a reason to be?"

"Yeah I do actually," he said almost immediately. His voice was louder than usual. It made her jump a little. "Don't you?"

"She's going to be suspicious! She already is. It's going to cause totally unnecessary drama. I don't think I can handle any more stress."

"Jesus. Quinn, we're friends! You're acting like Rachel just caught us in some heated love affair," he laughed then. Quinn suspected it was a laugh of disbelief.

"I, er, well, it is Rachel we're talking about here. Do you honestly think she'll be okay with this? Please. She'll flip out!"

Quinn felt like a fish out of water for about two seconds there. She recovered quickly but the damage was done. She knew her cheeks had flushed with embarrassment. The skin felt warm. Sure, that could have been because they were outside. The sun was awfully bright today. But Quinn doubted that was the reason.

"Right now you seem to be the only one freaking out. Anyway it's not like she'll end up plotting to kill you in your sleep. She isn't nearly as crazy as you make her out to be." He cringed. Quinn looked away. Maybe she was blowing things way out of proportion.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. She was chewing on her lower lip. "Has she mentioned anything to you yet?"

"Nope." Jesse over exaggerated the 'p' so that it popped. "Besides she doesn't have a reason to be upset."

"What do you mean?" Quinn's eyes were directed toward the sky. The cloud to her left reminded her of an elephant.

"What could she be upset about? I made a friend. If anything, she should be happy for me." When Quinn glanced back at Jesse he was staring at the cloud she was looking at moments before. Now it looked more like a fish.

"She'd be upset that you kept it from her." Quinn fell back against the bench. Her feet felt sore. They were probably swollen. Not that she could see them.

"She never asked. If it comes down to it, then that's what I'll say."

"Has she asked?" She kicked herself mentally. Hadn't she already asked that?

"She's been preoccupied lately."

Quinn didn't try to press the subject further. Lately whenever she asked about Rachel (because for some reason she kept coming up) Quinn could receive the same exact answer. Before Quinn was okay with that answer. It would seem that now it was starting to irritate her. She was far too curious now. But every time Jesse said that sentence it became apparent that he would not say anything further. Quinn knew it was none of her business but she couldn't help but feel immensely curious. She would have to squash that feeling as soon as possible.

She kept herself from looking over at him. For now she kept her face forward. Her eyes traced the now familiar playground and sand box. Quinn found herself at this park a lot lately. Sometimes she saw Emily with Bonnie and Arthur. Once, Emily's husband Paul had been with her. Yet, although this was a familiar place with occasional familiar faces, she had never brought Jesse along. Well, not before now that is.

Today had been different though. Neither one of them exactly wanted to go home after their usual lingering in the choir room. For some reason the diner just didn't sound appealing. Quinn blamed it on her lack of craving for bacon. That and the fact that the last time they were there Quinn saw that snob Vanessa with her brat of a child. It would appear that Natalie was Vanessa's younger sister. Go figure. Either way the park was a welcome change. Quinn had told Puck that she needed to meet her language tutor for homework help. Jesse had told his uncle the truth. Puck had rolled his eyes and Jesse said his uncle didn't care where he was.

They had been walking around previously. Jesse had tried to warn her that she would regret it. She hadn't listened, obviously. Her feet were killing her. Quinn had to make sure that they would make it to her favorite bench. After some convincing Jesse had reluctantly agreed. Quinn thought it was adorable the way he was so concerned. Actually her original thought had been that it was cute. Adorable made it sound better though.

When Quinn was off her feet Jesse had insisted that she tell him why it was her favorite bench. She mentioned meeting Emily and Jesse had nodded because he was familiar with the story. She tried to wrap it up there but Jesse was persistent. He knew there was more to the spot than what she was letting on. He had been right. He had been so right. Quinn actually had to steady herself before she told him.

It was a bittersweet moment because it involved her family. Quinn told him that when she was younger her mom used to bring her and her sister to the park. The bench on the little hill had always been the Fabray sisters' favorite place. It over looked a small section of the park. When the pair grew tired they would hoist themselves onto the bench and just watch all the people interact. One day the girls had managed to scratch their initials onto the bench.

Quinn had pointed it out to Jesse. A small 'QF' was etched between them. She had smiled when she ran her fingers along the initials. She had admitted that she wanted to call her mother. She wanted to call her mother so badly. She desperately missed her parents. Jesse had reached over and squeezed her hand. When she had looked down she could see the two letters between their fingers. She had stared at their hands for a couple of beats before she pulled her hand away. It was then that she had mentioned Rachel.

Quinn was brought out of her thoughts by the baby. She was stretching. Quinn grinned and turned to look at Jesse who was watching her intently. That look usually made her feel a little uncomfortable. Now though? Now it couldn't break her smile. So she was still grinning when she moved her hand forward. It turned into more of a tentative smile when she grabbed his hand. He looked at her curiously but made no move to pull away. Quinn carefully moved his hand so that it was resting on her stomach. She could feel little kicks and judging by Jesse's expression, he could too.

"Does it hurt?" he asked while looking down at their hands. Quinn's mind went blank for a moment. She wasn't used to hearing Jesse's voice sound so quiet… so, well, small.

"Not right now," she replied before moving her hand away from his. Jesse's hand stayed in place. "She isn't kicking hard right now."

"Wow," he said after a beat and finally pulled his hand away.

"Yeah," she smiled. "Puck finds it pretty fascinating too."

Jesse's expression changed then. Something did change but it was definitely something small. A muscle in his jaw twitched. Maybe there was a little glimmer in his eyes that faded. It had Quinn questioning whether or not she had said the right thing. But then, like usual, any traces of what she had seen had vanished. It was all peculiar and it all seemed so normal. Yet she still felt guilty about mentioning Puck. Not that she should feel guilty.

"That's easily understandable. If he's anything less than marveled there's something wrong with him," he said matter-of-factly. Quinn thought he sounded a little bitter.

"Jesse," she began only to have Jesse cut her off.

"I'm sorry," he said before offering her a small smile. His body was turned toward her but he had twisted his head away from her.

"It's okay," she sighed.

Her gaze fell to her initials once more. She smiled at it sadly. Her hand was cradling her bump again. Her thumb traced small circles over the fabric of her dress. A part of her had been hoping to spot Bonnie or Arthur on the playground because that meant Emily was with them. Although she spotted a few blondes and red heads, none of them were the siblings she wanted to see. She decided that maybe it was for the best. Quinn knew exactly what would happen if Emily met Jesse. As soon as Jesse's back was turned Emily would wiggle her eyebrows suggestively in his direction. She'd get the wrong idea.

Quinn sighed to herself mentally. She wouldn't do it out loud. She couldn't or Jesse would ask what was wrong. As much as she didn't want Emily to meet Jesse, Quinn actually wanted her to meet him ten times more. Jesse actually seemed eager to meet her new friend. Quinn was eager but anxious. She was tempted to pull out her phone and call Emily to have her meet them. It would be something to discuss. It would be something to fill the silence. Not that it was an awkward silence or anything. It was a silence that proved both teens had their mind on other things.

It was then that Quinn saw the first flash of blue. It certainly wasn't the last. Shortly after she spotted a handful. They were uniforms and there were plenty of kids wearing them. Quinn easily recognized them. Almost immediately her eyes settled on a little blonde boy in a matching uniform. He was gripping the hand of a little girl who had hair the color of fire. Arthur and Bonnie. Quinn grinned. It wasn't long before one of them noticed her.

"Quinn!" Arthur exclaimed. He dropped his sister's hand and ran in her direction.

"Hey," she replied almost instantly.

The little boy had quickly scrambled onto the bench. He stared at her for a moment. Then his light eyes settled on Jesse. Quinn watched with mild amusement as the boy's lower lip shot out to create a pout. His eyes feel back to Quinn, raced back to Jesse, before finally turning his eyes back to Quinn. He quickly launched himself at the teenager. He wrapped his arms around her torso and squeezed. Quinn giggled before returning the hug.

"Hi Quinn!" Arthur was grinning when he pulled away. Quinn giggled again.

"What have you been up to?"

"I had a soccer game today!" The little boy was grinning. His blue eyes were wide with delight. "We won!"

"That's awesome!" Quinn ruffled the boy's blonde hair. He pulled away and matted it down again.

"Arthur!"

A new voice broke through and Arthur turned. Quinn realized that he spun quickly enough to mess up his hair again. She sighed before patting it down. He turned and grinned that toothy smile of his. He said his thanks because he was raised to be polite before darting off of the bench. He ran toward the playground where he met up with another boy in a matching uniform. When Quinn turned she found Jesse staring at her with a smile. His eyes were lit with a spark she hadn't seen yet today.

"What?" Quinn's voice came out as a soft laugh.

"Nothing," Jesse replied before laughing lightly as well. Quinn noted that his arm had been draped on the back of the bench.

"That was Arthur," she said after glancing away from his arm. She raised her hand and pointed toward the girls huddled in the sand box. "That little redhead is Bonnie."

"Emily's kids?" Quinn nodded after he asked. "Well, I guess that means she's close by."

"I guess so. She's not hard to miss."

Quinn started to look for her friend not even two seconds after finishing her statement. It was true after all. Bonnie's hair was nearly the exact shade her mother's was. Her eyes quickly scanned the crowd searching for the other piece of the set. She spotted her soon enough. Emily stood with her arm wrapped around her husband's waist. Her head was resting against his shoulder. They were speaking with another couple who looked equally happy. Seeing them brought a smile to her face.

Quinn continued to watch them. Her smile had slipped just a little. She could feel the weight of Jesse's gaze. She almost turned to face him. Almost. because she spotted Arthur tugging on his mother's sleeve. They boy spoke with such animation that only a child could create. Instantly her eyes locked with Emily's. The woman smiled before saying something to Paul. They spoke with the couple again in what was clearly a goodbye.

"Emily and Paul are walking this way." Quinn hissed in Jesse's general direction without turning.

"Good. I want to meet them."

Quinn became a bundle of nerves then. Sure, she knew she was anxious but she hadn't known it was such a large extent. For a moment she literally thought she was shaking. She figured she must have imagined it because Jesse wasn't giving her any strange looks. Emily and Paul were staring at her like she had three heads. She definitely wasn't shaking but judging by the way Jesse's muscles had tensed (she wasn't looking, okay, she just happened to notice him tense a tiny bit) he had caught on to something. He smiled at her, moved his hand toward her, and nodded his head. Quinn figured she must have looked like a deer caught in headlights. That or she just looked ready to murder him because he drew his hand back and chuckled.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she hissed between her teeth.

"That's bull. Seriously. what's wrong? Be quick with your reply if you don't want them to hear," he warned with a lopsided grin.

"Emily's going to assume the wrong thing, okay," she replied almost immediately. She had to (well, not really) because the couple was getting closer. "She already assumed that you were more than a friend when I mentioned you to begin with. This will just add some gasoline to get her fire going."

"Then it's a good thing that there isn't any truth to her assumptions," he said before moving his arm so that it was no longer draped across the bench (actually Quinn had noticed it was behind her shoulder specifically) and cleared his throat. Quinn watched the smile shift back across his features. It was a polite, guarded smile. When she looked up she realized it was because Emily and Paul were nearly directly in front of them.

"Hey," she greeted with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. She didn't wait for their reply before she moved her head to look at the amused teen beside her. "This is Jesse. Jesse, this is Emily and her husband Paul."

Quinn watched with that smile plastered onto her face. Jesse shook hands with both adults and was as polite as ever. He always was, that was just Jesse. Quinn watched with detached focus as he immediately struck up a conversation with Paul. They were discussing some sort of sport. Quinn hadn't known Jesse was into sports. It never came up. When she looked up Emily was watching her with a little smirk. It as a smirk that she knew all too well and it brought a scowl to her face. Of course that only made Emily laugh. She fought back the urge to stick her tongue out like a child.

"Do you want to know a secret?" Emily questioned before sitting next to her. It took Quinn a moment to realize that Jesse had moved and was now standing next to Paul away from the bench.

"Always," she replied though she sounded distant. Her eyes were focused on the two of them talking. Paul was making wide gestures with his hands and Jesse was nodding in agreement.

"I think Arthur has a crush on you," Emily said with a grin. Quinn was looking at her almost instantly. Her eyes were a bit wide because she had not realized that at all. She bit her lower lip and laughed in slight disbelief.

"Really?" she asked. The laughter had crept into her voice.

"I think so, yeah. He talks about you often enough. He thinks you're really pretty," Emily nudged Quinn lightly, playfully. "He's right of course. I asked him if he liked you and he blushed and swore that he didn't. But a mother just knows."

Quinn felt a small pang. Anytime Emily mentioned being a mother she felt it. She was envious; she could admit that. She wanted a baby; she wanted a family. She just didn't want one now. Hell, she knew that there was no way she could handle one now. Her home life had fallen to pieces. There was just no way she could raise a baby. Not even if she wanted to. Which she didn't… but then Quinn knew that was a lie. She did when she really thought about it. She wanted to keep her baby when she thought about it for hours on end. But there was always that fear that would keep in and she just knew that she was making the right decision.

"Yeah, well, lucky for you I don't plan on becoming a cougar any time soon," she said without turning to face Emily. Sure she was making a joke but personally she thought it just sounded dry. There wasn't much emotion in her voice. "You don't have to worry about me tricking your son into falling for me or anything."

"Thanks so much," Emily replied with a chuckle. She glanced away from Quinn toward the two men off to the side. She hesitated before rolling her eyes and leaning closer to Quinn. She lowered her voice. "So what's the deal with you and Jesse?"

"Seriously? We've talked about this how many times? We're just friends," Quinn leaned back against the bench. She was so sick of talking about this.

"Yeah well you two don't look like just friends. You can't honestly tell me that you don't like this guy. Not even a little bit?"

"Sorry to disappoint you," she retorted. Except that was a lie because she certainly wasn't sorry.

"Quinn, come on, you aren't fooling me. It's so obvious."

"What exactly do you think is so obvious?" she asked in a tone that was maybe just a tad bit defensive. Okay, so maybe it was a lot defensive. She had hoped that Emily hadn't noticed. But then that was really just wishful thinking on her part. The red head noticed everything.

"Defensive, much? Quinn, you can tell me you know," she patted Quinn's hand in a way that reminded her of her mother. Then she just felt a little sad all over again. She was thinking about her mother way too much lately.

"No, I can't because there's nothing to tell," she retorted though she was smiling just a little. Emily simultaneously reminded her of her mother and of one of her gossiping friends.

"That's a shame," she made a clicking noise. "Because that boy is so obviously crazy about you."

"What do you mean?" Quinn asked before she could stop herself. She wanted to hit herself in the face afterward. How more obvious could she be?

"He's been glancing over here every minute or so," Emily was smirking. She was full out smirking and it made Quinn want to run for cover. Or cringe. Maybe both.

"That-that doesn't mean anything," she argued though it didn't sound at all persuasive. Especially since now she was stumbling over her words.

"Oh of course it does. Now you're just in denial. But that's okay. If you don't want to go for it, that's your problem. You'll be the one missing out." Emily had shrugged after her little mini speech. It was silent for a bit. Quinn had to keep herself from glancing at Jesse now that Emily had mentioned him staring. She chose to look at Arthur instead.

"I can't like him," she finally whispered. "He has a girlfriend and it would just complicate things. I just… I can't let myself like him."

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe he was thinking the same thing?" Emily questioned hesitantly.

"I doubt it. Jesse and his girlfriend are pretty much perfect for each other. If you met her, you'd know what I'm talking about," Quinn mumbled with mild irritation.

"So? They might seem perfect to you but they might not seem so perfect to him."

"I'm not going to break them up, okay? I can't do that to him. I'm not that sort of person," she finished rather lamely. She had done far worse actually.

"You could at least tell him how you feel," she offered.

"No! Definitely not. Then our friendship would just be, well, over. And I like having him as a friend. I can't do that. You can call me a chicken if you want to but I can't tell him. I'd rather just keep this to myself," she finished before pursing her lips together.

After that it was just silent. On her part anyway. Emily tried to keep the conversation going. She mentioned bits of her day. She talked about Arthur's soccer game. She talked about Bonnie and her newfound love of drawing. She talked about Paul and his job. Emily basically just talked to fill the silence. That's what Quinn assumed anyway. Then she just felt horrible because she wasn't commenting on anything. She would nod or hum in agreement. She was only half listening. Somewhere off in another part of her brain she was mulling over everything she had just talked about.

She had basically just admitted that she had feelings for Jesse. Whether she liked it or not. And she definitely did not like it. The strange thing was that the more she thought about it, the more Quinn realized that it was actually the first time she had let herself accept it. She had been questioning her feelings toward her new friend for a while now. She had not wanted to believe that she had a crush on Jesse St. James (calling it a crush just seemed lame) but now she realized that it was entirely true. That could just mess things up horribly. She didn't want to wreck everything that she had built.

Then there was the other thing running through her head. Emily had hinted (okay pretty much blatantly stated) that Jesse probably felt the same way. Quinn didn't know how to take that. Emily seemed to be especially good at reading people. But then Quinn had always thought that she was pretty decent at it too. If she had missed the Jesse thing then maybe she wasn't as good as she thought she was. But she didn't want to let herself accept that maybe Jesse could like her. Because then it made her feel strangely giddy in a way that she did not exactly like. This whole situation was all sorts of screwed up.

Quinn wanted to stay friends with Jesse. If she was positive of anything she was positive of that. Jesse had quickly and easily become one of the best friends she had ever had. Maybe she was giving him a little too much credit. But she actually believed it was true. She had befriended people like Brittany and Santana who had been pretty good friends. But Quinn had never felt like she could truly trust them. She had always been a little wary of them and their loyalty. As far as popularity was concerned she could only trust so many people with her secrets. The two of them had not exactly been candidates.

Jesse was someone that she felt she could actually trust. Maybe she actually was giving him too much credit. The more she thought about it the more she figured she might be right. Sure it had been awhile and he hadn't gone back to Vocal Adrenaline but everyone still doubted him. Even after her little outburst the glee kids still didn't trust him. Mr. Schue still didn't trust him. Nobody trusted him like she did. Except for maybe Rachel but the situation was entirely different. Except maybe it wasn't because Quinn had finally allowed herself to accept the fact that she did feel something more than friendship for Jesse. As far as Quinn understood she was pretty much screwed. She was completely screwed.

"I think Arthur's jealous of Jesse," Emily said while her eyes fell on Quinn. It shook her out of her thoughts. "I already told you he has a crush on you so it shouldn't be hard to believe. Even Arthur can see that you care about him. He wouldn't be jealous if there wasn't anything to be jealous about,"

"Arthur's jealous huh?" Quinn questioned because that was really all she wanted to comment on. "Well then it's a good thing that he has nothing to worry about. You can tell him that if you want."

"I think I'll keep that information to myself. I don't want my son thinking he's going to marry you," Emily said teasingly.

"I'm offended. I thought you'd like me as a daughter in law," she nudged Emily playfully before laughing just a little.

"Bonnie thinks of you as family as it is," Emily finally said. Quinn automatically searched for the little girl. She had a daisy in her hair.

"Really?"

"Mhm. She drew a picture. I told you that she likes drawing now right?" Emily questioned quickly. Quinn paused before nodding. "She drew you in the picture. She really likes you. Probably thinks of you as a sister or aunt."

"Do you think that maybe you could show me the picture sometime?" Quinn asked because she entirely sure how to respond the rest of it. She felt touched, she knew that much.

"Of course. I'll make sure to bring it next time I see you," Emily smiled before standing. "I've got to get going. The kids need dinner and I promised them something about a happy meal."

"Make sure they get the good toys!" Quinn playfully replied before standing with her. "I have to get home soon too. I have history definitions to do."

The two of them hugged and it almost seemed a little awkward. Quinn figured that was mostly just because she was so huge. It felt awkward hugging people period. But she was smiling when Emily and Paul walked off to find their children. She felt tears prick at her eyes when she saw two small hands waving at her. She waved back at the two children until they turned away. Both were clearly excited about the idea of fast food and a cheap toy. She could remember when she was the same way.

Quinn almost forgot that Jesse was there until she felt his hand on her shoulder. When she turned to face them he looked concerned and it took her a minute to realize why. Her cheeks had gone cold. She flushed before quickly turning away. Her fingers wiped clumsily at the skin. She couldn't believe that she had let herself cry in front of him. She hated crying period, especially in front of people. But it was all she seemed to be doing lately. She hated it. Especially now.

"Are you alright?" he asked before pulling on her shoulder gently until she was facing him again.

"I'm fine," she quickly replied while she wiped away the last of the traitor tears.

"Quinn, you were crying," he smiled as if to reassure. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replied before glancing down. "I'm not upset, Jesse. You don't have to worry."

"But I am worried," he argued. Quinn hated that she was glad that he cared. Because she was a little too happy about it. She took a step back to distance herself a bit. That only seemed to make things worse. He frowned instantly. "Quinn?"

"They make me feel like I belong," she admitted in a quiet almost childlike voice. "They make me feel like family. I haven't felt like that for a while. I guess it was just a bit over whelming. But I promise, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked. He looked like he wanted to step closer but he held his ground. Quinn was thankful for that.

"I'm positive. Everything's fine," she smiled and he copied it. When he turned to pick up her bag she let it slip off her face for a second. She wasn't liking her new discovery of her feelings very much.

"I should get you home," he started before turning to face her. "Your tutoring excuse won't hold up much longer if I keep you out any later."

"I guess you're right," she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and started to follow him when he walked away. "So what did you think of them?"

"Emily seemed nice. I didn't talk to her all that much because you two were so intent on discussing something," he slowed his pace so that he could catch up before flashing a grin and a wink her way. "Paul is a decent guy. He really likes sports and he really does love Emily and his family. I didn't really meet Bonnie and I don't think Arthur likes me all that much."

"What makes you think that?" Quinn asked though she had to stop herself from laughing.

"I just got a vibe," he replied.

"You got a vibe?" she asked in slight disbelief. "He's a kid,"

"Kids can give off vibes," he defended himself with a chuckle. "That kid just did not like me."

"Oh well. His loss I guess," Quinn smiled. "I think you're a pretty awesome guy."

"Well thanks. You aren't too bad yourself," He returned her smile with one of his one. His was a little more cocky than hers. And by a little she meant a lot.

"Shut up, St. James," she replied before smacking him in the arm. He played up the pain and gripped his arm in such a dramatic way that only he could pull off. He was laughing by the end of it. She was right along there with him.

"I don't think I will. You know me, I like to talk," he grinned. By now he was walking in front of her but walking backward so that he was facing her. She was going to laugh in his face if he tripped and fell. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to kick you," she warned half meaning it.

"Really now? I'd like to see you try,"

"It's your pick Jesse. You can either have a broken nose or a kick to your man parts." She was laughing now.

"I think I'll pass. Neither one of those options sound pleasant. Besides you pack quite a punch. You probably would break my nose." He moved so that he was walking at her side again. He rubbed his arm for good measure as if to prove his point.

"Oh now you're just milking it. I might have to hit you again." She moved her arm a fraction and watched as he stepped away from her. It looked like some sort of dance step actually. "You're such a baby!"

"Who me? Pfft, I don't think so." Jesse shifted his weight before he reached into his pocket to find his keys. When Quinn glanced up she could see the parking lot. "I don't take kindly to being injured."

"Mm, most people don't," she replied sarcastically.

"Oh, it stings," he rubbed his arm and cringed but he was smiling.

"Seriously, stop milking it," she rolled her eyes. "What do you need me to kiss it and make it better?"

"Are you offering?" he asked and something flashed in his eyes but Quinn looked away before she could see more it. She was trying not to blush. Instead, she heard him unlock the car and she quickly climbed into the passenger seat.

"Maybe you should ask Rachel. I'm sure she'd agree to that," she said once she was settled in the seat. She heard Jesse sigh before starting the car.

So maybe that was a low blow. She shouldn't have said anything actually. She shouldn't have brought up Rachel period. It wasn't like they were doing anything wrong and it had just seemed like the sort of thing to say. She shifted in her seat and snuck a glance at Jesse. He was staring straight ahead. A silence had fallen over them and that only made Quinn feel worse. They had been getting along so well and she had just ruined it. Of course she had.

For a couple minutes there she had managed to forget that Rachel even existed. Now that was saying something but Rachel Berry never let anyone forget about her. But she had managed to. Now it hit her in the face all over again. Rachel knew that she and Jesse were friends. Rachel was going to freak out over it at some point. She just knew it. It wouldn't help that now she couldn't even deny that she had feelings for Jesse. Sure, she could deny it but it wouldn't be the truth. She would just end up lying.

Rachel would probably catch her in the lie too. She was actually kind of perceptive.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that," she finally whispered. She still wasn't looking at Jesse.

Jesse was silent. Maybe that was a bad sign. Quinn didn't really know. She did care more than she probably should though. She bit her lip and chewed. She didn't feel like saying much else. Apparently Jesse felt the same. After another minute she turned to face the window. If Jesse wasn't answering he was either ignoring her or thinking about something else. Quinn liked to believe it was the later but she just didn't know.

Quinn never would have been able to guess just what he was thinking. She never would have expected what he was planning.

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**Sanna**: Heh yeah I figure that Jesse can get away with the dramatics. He's entitled to it. Or I think so anyway. Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad that the story has still captured your attention (:

**DCSANTIAGO**: Even though I really don't consider this a St. Faberry fic, thank you for reviewing!

**-February Air-**: I'm just curious is your name taken from the song by Lights? That's what it reminds me of. Anyway thank you for reviewing! I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter and the little peak into Jesse's head.

**LadyAiredonelle**: Thank you (: I kind of thought it would be a fun little thing to add and most people agreed. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

**km**: I can only hope that you liked what happened next. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

**Peyton**: I loved the chapter too honestly. I really liked this one as well. And believe me I sit here with a giddy little smile on my face the whole time I'm writing it (: I'm glad that you enjoyed Jesse's little bit and that you continue to review! Thank you so much!

**Alex**: I love the St Fabray pairing so much. I blame it on my love for Jesse and Quinn as separate characters. Thank you for reviewing! I'm sorry that I didn't update quite as early as I was planning to.

**AnonReader**: Haha I'm sorry! I definitely did change the title and I can see how that would be confusing.

I felt like he definitely needed to address Rachel in his little chapter. I didn't think it was logical if he was just focused on Quinn the entire time. I've stated before that I'm trying to make it so that this story could make sense with the show (if you squint) and I believe that Jesse did genuinely like Rachel.

I'm not going to play the cheating card at all. I agree that Quinn has already taken that road and I would also like to believe that she has grown from that. My beta kind of wanted to see it happen just because the waiting is kind of killing her but whatever. No cheating in my fic! I do not approve.

I'm kind of excited to see how it plays out myself. I have an idea for the whole fallout but I have a feeling it will really come together when I'm writing it. I hope so anyway.

Thank you for continuing to read and review! Actually not just reviewing but leaving well thought out reviews because those are definitely my favorites (:


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** I can't even begin to apologize for how late this update it. It's been what? Eleven months now? I am sincerely sorry and I'm not going to blame it on anything other than me just being lazy. To be quite honest, I had very little motivation to finish this chapter. But it's done.

I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart if you continued to stick with this story, especially those of you who left those kind reviews the last couple of months. Those were a nice reminder to get my ass in gear.

I know it won't be able to make up for my absent time, but this is a very long chapter. It's over ten thousand words without the author note I'm adding here. Although, just as a warning, even though this is a long chapter I must warn you ahead of time that Jesse is practically nonexistent in this chapter.

The good news? "Funk" is next, and I've just barely started it. But that's where everything starts to get dramatic.

Again, I'm sorry for how late this is but I do hope that some of you choose to continue reading. For those of you that do: please don't forget to leave a review! They sincerely do make my day and I'll do my best to send you a reply. Your feedback is very much appreciated!

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Quinn was early to glee club. It was a strange occurrence. Usually she was just one of the stragglers. She was one of the few who decided that getting there later was better than being early. Which was strange because Quinn was almost always early to every function. Today she just did not feel like hurrying, but she did. It was just glee club. It wasn't like she had some major test or anything in that class. Besides, she was not particularly in the best of moods. For once, she was not blaming that on her hormones. She knew exactly what was wrong and she felt no need to deny it. Well, maybe she would out loud and in her head? She knew.

Jesse had not been at school that day.

She felt kind of lame when she realized that she had only noticed because she had been looking for him. Quinn did not usually look for people at school. They always just sort of passed by and she would realize they were there. That had not been the case. She caught a ride with Puck in the morning, like she usually did. She had automatically looked for the parking space Jesse usually chose. It had been empty. Perhaps that should not have been quite so troubling but it was. She automatically thought that something might be wrong. Then she had to correct herself because she was just being paranoid. It was completely possible that he was just running late. Or that's what the logical bit of her mind told her. There was only one problem with that assumption.

Jesse St. James was never late. He was never late to anything. He had told her that himself. He was early to everything.

So maybe she did have reason to worry. Maybe she was actually just overreacting. She didn't know. She wasn't sure. All she knew was that Jesse was not in class and, actually, she had no idea where he would be. If he was sick he probably would have made a big deal out of it. It just seemed like a Jesse thing to do. As a performer being sick was not something you wanted. It wasn't something most people wanted in general, but it was something to get especially worked up over as a performer.

Quinn had no choice but to focus on something other than her own thoughts when Tina walked in. A hush had fallen over the room when she wasn't paying close attention. She wondered if Tina might have felt awkward with all the eyes directed toward her. Quinn still felt that way when the situation was reversed. They way she hunched over and lowered her head Quinn suspected that she might be right. But she had quickly walked toward her seat and sat down, her limbs were tucked toward her body. It looked almost like her body was caved in on itself. There was a full beat of silence before the whole room erupted into a sort of chaos. There was a frenzy of voices all at once until Mr. Schuester walked into the room and got a good look at her.

There was something said about her changing her look, because she obviously had. Her trademark dark clothes and makeup had vanished, replaced with a simple hoodie and sloppy pony tail. Now that was something she could try to focus on. She gave her suggestions to at least try to fix whatever problem that Tina had. It wasn't her fault that her idea what shot down. She thought it was better than Puck's perverted idea (which she rolled her eyes at) and Brittany's ramblings. Perhaps the problem and its possible solution were just of no consequence to her. Quinn turned her attention back to the front of the room just as Rachel Berry stormed in, her arms moving wildly and her hurried voice speaking of Vocal Adrenaline and their obvious intentions to sing Gaga.

Of course Mr. Schuester would be likely to follow their example. He was frightened by the idea of it. He covered it well enough with his confidence and ease. His weekly lessons were rather tedious but for whatever reason the assignment of singing Gaga seemed highly plausible. Kurt, oh the poor boy, looked like he was about to have a heart attack with the assignment. Quinn was excited herself but she had settled for a slack jaw and arched eyebrows when the assignment was announced. She smiled and nodded and glanced around at everyone else who seemed equally thrilled, except for the rest of the boys. Rachel was beside herself with her flailing arms and snapping fingers as she demanded for a pen.

While the idea of performing Lady Gaga was an exciting and influential idea she had her doubts. Was it even possible for New Directions to perform something any better than whatever Vocal Adrenaline was planning? Quinn often doubted their glee club even when she never admitted it out loud. She was certain she wasn't the only one, though the other members often looked over the previous winners because they lacked something New Directions now had. Jesse St. James and his transfer had proved to be an asset though the others often forgot what he could bring to the table. She suspected that even without their star that Vocal Adrenaline was well off. Everything fell back to her paranoia at not placing at Regionals and from there the worrying about Jesse easily stemmed from the idea.

She wasn't trying to think about him, honestly. It just sort of happened, even when she least expected it to. Lucky for her – or maybe not so lucky – he was still nestled there even at the end of the day. After glee rehearsal was finished, on the car ride home, up the journey to her room, when she tried to accomplish even some part of her homework, even when she tried listening to music.

There was something about Jesse that kept her second guessing herself. It was one of the major things she had been pondering all day. She had settled on biting at her finger nails and tugging at her split ends to avoid completely focusing on the issue. She was certain of one thing and that was Jesse's obvious choice to ignore her. She wondered if he was doing the same to Rachel. She wondered if Rachel was just completely oblivious to the idea and basking in Finn's affection. Although, the second thought was probably disputable. Rachel, if anything, appeared completely faithful to Jesse, despite Finn's obvious advances. Quinn wondered how Rachel handled that. She had wanted Finn for so long and he finally returned her interest when she was dating Jesse, go figure. That seemed very typical of Finn; it seemed very typical of men in general.

Of course a knock at her door happened to occur then and she hated herself for feeling even the smallest ounce of hope that maybe, just maybe, Jesse could be the one at her door. The idea was highly unlikely but she couldn't help herself.

"Hello?" she asked with a voice that only trembled at the beginning of the word.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes, of course," she replied and tried to keep the displeasure out of her tone. It wasn't that she wasn't pleased to see Puck (which seemed surprising in itself), she had just hoped that Jesse had been in his place. That seemed silly to her. Puck's voice hadn't even sounded remotely like Jesse's but she had still found a shred of her _hoping_ that it had still been him.

She had to erase any troubles marring her features when the door clicked, alerting her that the knob was being turned. She moved to meet him at the door, and when the wood was no longer separating the two, she felt a smile spread across her face slowly. Puck was juggling two plates, one grasped in his hand and one was nestled in the crook between his arm. She watched him with amusement as he carefully grabbed one plate so that he was holding both. He held one out, offering it to her. When she looked down it was then that she noticed the piece of pizza he was offering had bits of bacon scattered on top of it. She opened her mouth to speak, her tongue brushing against the front of her teeth once or twice before she gave up and looked up at him with a grin.

"I had to sneak it; you know how my mom is. Half of this pizza is bacon so you're going to have to eat the whole thing before she gets home or something," Puck said while looking down at his offered hand. Quinn was still grinning but found herself nodding.

"I - thank you," she replied and took the plate before giving his arm a small squeeze. It was then that his eyes shifted up to meet hers and she was rewarded with a smile from him. It was a rare sight, normally she saw him in distress over a video game or too concerned with being bad ass to slip a smile.

He didn't say a thing. He paused before opening and closing his mouth just as she had moments before. Silence apparently seemed more fitting and he chose to just incline his head to the right and Quinn knew what he meant. She nodded and followed him out the door toward the couch.

Puck's gesture was certainly thoughtful. It was much more than she ever expected to see from him. Most days since their, well, fight he was always in front of a TV killing imaginary characters. Other times he was leaving the house claiming to be hangout out with Finn which Quinn knew wasn't true because neither one of them was currently speaking to the other. Not that she blamed Finn in the slightest about that.

But what Puck was really doing was going over to Santana's house to do exactly what Quinn refused to do anymore. It stung, a sort of move like that, pouring salt into an open wound and what not. It certainly didn't help that she had to hear Santana bragging about it the next day when she got to school. Quinn was sure pretty little Natalie wasn't fond of the bragging either.

Maybe that was what made this so worthy of surprise and so worthy of her smiles. She was lonely whether she liked to admit it or not. With Jesse gone there actually were not many other people to socialize with.

That's what brought Quinn to the couch as she watched Puck kill his - what was it now? Zombies? He was grinning like a two year old, his plate forgotten next to him. Not like it really mattered because there were only crumbs to accompany the plastic. Her own plate still held a whole piece that she was currently plucking bits of bacon off of. She almost didn't want to eat them. Partly because Puck was demolishing the zombies and the game was incredibly graphic, but also because bacon made her think of Jesse.

And that was just sad. It was a stupid reason not to eat it. But that was why the bacon bits were left on the plate.

It wasn't as if she could help it. If it was at all possible she would have shut her brain off a long time ago. It wasn't like she constantly wanted to be thinking about Jesse. Quite the opposite, actually. She would love to be able to just push everything aside and focus on whatever zombie game Puck was playing. He seemed so excited over it. If she could shut her brain off she would probably even ask for him to teach her how to play.

She didn't want this to take control of her life. She already had other things to focus on. So she tucked her hair behind her ear, leaned forward and tapped Puck on the shoulder. He paused the game to turn around to look at her, that grin still present on his face. His eyes sort of softened when he looked at her in a way that made her smile a sad sort of smile (it seemed all of her smiles lately were sad).

"Teach me how to play?" she asked while moving to pull her hand away. He caught it and gave it a small squeeze, still grinning.

"Yeah! Baby mama, you're gonna love this game!" And he turned to find her another controller and it was sweet if she ignored the nickname.

The pizza was left forgotten for half an hour, the bacon bits surrounding the piece, uneaten.

She had finally been getting the hang of the game. It was actually very simplistic. Kill any and all zombies while trying to find a safe house. It was actually sort of therapeutic, more so than some of the other games she had played. She could understand why Puck seemed to be playing this game more than usual. It was an excellent way to channel rage.

It wasn't until her phone beeped twice that she hit pause. Puck's agitation was obvious, his lip almost curled up into a snarl and his brow was knitted together. He turned to look at her and rolled his eyes in exasperation to see Quinn reach for her phone. Quinn, however, was practically twitching with the possibilities racing through her head. Her eyes lit up and she moved as quickly as possible to snatch her phone from the couch cushion.

It was mildly (actually incredibly) pathetic just how much she wanted the text message to be from Jesse. There was no reason for him to be consuming her life; surely she was better than that. Yet, slowly he seemed to be doing just that. Her fingers fell across the keys in a clumsy, hurried motion as she tried to open the text. She knew her face fell when she saw who it was from. Certainly not from Jesse.

"Who interrupted the game?" Puck nearly hissed while leaning forward eagerly to try and read the message.

_Tomorrow after school I will be paying Carmel High a visit. Care to join?_

Quinn blinked. It was a strange sight to see a text message from Rachel Berry glaring at her. Especially since she hardly ever spoke to Rachel, even more so because for a while she feared a notorious diva fit because she was talking to the drama queen's boyfriend. If anyone had told her a year ago that she would be texting Rachel Berry (or even mildly be crushing on Rachel's boyfriend) she would have called them insane before making their life a living hell.

_You want me to help you spy on Vocal Adrenaline? Doesn't that go against your moral show choir code or something?_

She put her phone down without waiting for a reply. When she turned to face Puck he was still staring at the phone. He was wearing an annoyed sort of expression. It was a face she was used to seeing and she was positive her own features mirrored his. He rolled his eyes and turned so that he was facing the TV again. He did not repeat his question and Quinn guessed that it was because he had managed to catch a glimpse of the screen. He already knew who interrupted the game.

"Rachel wants to spy on Vocal Adrenaline," she said softly without looking up from her hands.

"I think it's a good idea," he replied so quickly that Quinn didn't expect it.

"You do?" she asked even though she knew she shouldn't be surprised.

"Well, yeah. It could help us when we murder them at Regionals," he replied in a self-assured manner. Normally Quinn would have found his cockiness irritating but now it almost seemed endearing.

"How can you be so sure that we'll win? I mean, they are Vocal Adrenaline after all," she wrung her hands nervously. To her, the idea of winning seemed like such an unachievable goal.

"Because we're awesome," he retorted with a confidence that only faltered near the end. The slight change in tone could barely be detected. "I mean, we have to win. We don't really have a choice."

"So no pressure or anything," she finished with a wrinkled nose. It wasn't like she had never thought about it herself, of course she had. It was still just a certain level of pressure and stress that she didn't want to think about.

"Don't worry, we're going to kick their ass," he grinned before turning back to his game. It was an effective way to end a conversation but Quinn missed the company.

She really didn't want to go back to being that teenager that always complained about everything. Then again, she felt like she just might have a lot to complain about. There was also that voice arguing that she deserved whatever misery and frustration she thought she was experiencing. She had brought it on herself after all. Hadn't she? Only an idiot has sex without protection. She hadn't trusted her instincts. No matter how foggy her brain had been from the wine coolers, her natural gut feeling had told her to stop Puck. Everything in her had argued that she shouldn't be listening to whatever nonsense Puck had been spouting.

But then there was that part of her, the obviously more dominant and non-sensible part of her, that was immensely curious. That was normal wasn't it? To wonder about sex when she had no idea what it would be like? It made perfect sense in her head. It wasn't the type of sense her parents would ever listen to, but it was a feeling. She had not denied her curiosity and that had been her downfall.

She could blame Puck all she wanted but at the end of the day it was on her. It would always be on her.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?" she replied quickly, glancing up from her hands to see Puck waving his controller in the air. It took her a moment to realize that he was gesturing to the forgotten controller on the arm rest.

"Are we going to finish this level or not?"

"Sure. We can finish this one but then I think I'm going to get some sleep." She bit her lip and scooped up the controller. She fumbled to unpause the game. Puck looked a little put off by her reply but it was not an irritation that he made vocal.

That was just the way she preferred it to be. The less arguments the better.

It wasn't until the next day that it even appeared to be an issue. Puck was standing at his locker, shamelessly flirting with Santana. Quinn had assumed (and perhaps it was her fault for doing so) that maybe, just maybe, a fraction of their relationship had been restored. Though it was obvious that it was merely wishful thinking. Puck was always only concerned with himself and the steps needed to insure his own personal happiness. There was also that little bit of tactful self-assurance that kept said happiness intact. A cocky attitude and boastful reputation got him into Santana's pants often enough. Actually it was something like three times a week.

She swore to herself a little too loud. That in itself was strange. She never swore. The snarled profanity caused a passing freshman to turn and look her way with a confused expression. Not that it was of much importance. The girl in question sneered and walked off quickly. Her judgment was painfully obvious in her eyes. That was a common occurrence lately.

Quinn could only roll her eyes and brush off the sneer. When she turned around again, Mercedes had made her way down the hall by her locker. Quinn smiled with tight lips and closed the locker. The pair had never been close but they weren't entirely strangers. The only moment of relative familiarity was when Mercedes had passed out and Quinn took her to the nurse. Their little talk was obviously a big milestone but since then they hardly spoke. Although, she was talented and Quinn did admire that.

"Please tell me you're going to Carmel with Rachel," Mercedes said while moving to lean against the lockers.

"I was planning on it," she began before adjusting the strap of her bag. "Why?"

"Because I got roped into it and I don't think I can handle being alone with Rachel for that long," she huffed and pulled at the sleeve of her jacket. "Girl can squawk."

"I see your point," Quinn replied and bit her lip to stifle her giggle. "Are you on your way to meet up with her?"

Mercedes nodded and Quinn volunteered to walk with her. Every step pushed a bit of distance between her and Puck. If that was the positive bit the negative was definitely that she was being pushed closer to Rachel. How long would they have to spy on Vocal Adrenaline? She didn't know if she could take more than an hour. Two hours tops. She could only hope that the girl would keep quiet. They were supposed to be spying after all. One could only be sneaky if they kept silent like a good little spy. If Rachel was as intelligent as she claimed to be then she should be able to realize that.

It wasn't until she spotted Rachel standing by the front doors of the school that she realized she hadn't said a word to Mercedes while they were walking. If she was entirely focused she would have apologized because that actually was rude of her. Then she wondered if Mercedes had expected such. Quinn had hardly been a saint to her before glee, or even now that they were together in glee. Then she noticed that Rachel was tapping her foot with obvious impatience and Quinn wanted to turn and refuse to help spy and leave. But she actually was extremely curious to see just what Vocal Adrenaline was working on. If they were doing Gaga, then it was perfectly understandable that they should spy. That didn't make it right but it almost, _almost_, justified it in her head.

She even managed to tune Rachel out the entire way there. Which was probably a necessity to keep her sanity intact. Rachel talked more than she cared to listen and then there was her car mix. Quinn enjoyed show tunes, she honestly did, but she could not take an entire car mix dedicated to it. Especially when the car mix was about four discs long. She could only handle so much. Quinn knew the ride was a little lengthy but the combination of glee ramblings and crooning show tunes had made it seem especially long.

When she finally saw the glaring auditorium and the statue of the shark eating a baby seal she wanted to scream with joy or giggle into her hands madly. Something along those lines, something that seemed incredibly insane. She would probably bend down to kiss the pavement if it was at all possible. But her growing stomach would have prevented her from doing anything of the sort. So instead she got out of the car calmly and just stared. It was a little nerve racking to see every single black car in the parking lot. It was like staring into a mirror. They were all exactly the same except for a change in a couple of license plates. For a moment she wondered if Jesse had a copy of one of the cars. He had been in Vocal Adrenaline; it wasn't hard to connect the dots. The cars were for every single member. Did he have one? She tried to picture the car at the McKinley parking lot and instead almost made herself sick. There was a stirring in her belly that was in no way related to the baby. It was nerves. The fluttering sensation was not something to be ignored. She felt as if she was about to throw up her lunch and she placed a hand against the car to calm herself down.

When Mercedes finally saw her that way she rolled her eyes in what Quinn assumed was Rachel's general direction. Of course it would be fair to assume that the reason for what Quinn figured was somewhat close to horror on her face would be because of Rachel. Who was she to deny Mercedes her original thought? It could play out perfectly that way. Mostly because she didn't want to have to explain that it was all because of Rachel's _boyfriend_.

That word really did need to be emphasized in her head because she knew how illogical she was being by being so concerned about his sudden disappearance. She felt like it was Rachel's job to act like a clingy girlfriend. The small brunette was perfectly capable of doing so. She was certain of it. Instead, Quinn Fabray, who once had the student population bowing at her feet, was dealing with whatever clingy tendencies had risen. She hated it. She hated it so much.

"Can we just get this over with?" Quinn said suddenly, startling Rachel who had been flipping through her bag trying to figure out if she should bring a notebook. "I have history homework."

"Well if you were prepared and didn't slack off with your studies then maybe you would not have such an inconvenient problem. I, for example, used my free period, which I usually devote to practicing songs to demonstrate my impeccable talent and-"

"Nobody cares," Quinn quickly fired back. "Berry, you talk far more than you should."

Rachel's jaw dropped in a show of obvious disbelief and her fists curled at her sides. Quinn shot her one of her famous eye brow arches, not at all impressed with the show. If Rachel had ever planned on hitting her she would have already done so. She shot a look at Mercedes who shook her head and told the brunette to lock her car and forget the notebook. Rachel spent the moment trying to explain why taking notes might be a necessity which was quickly dismissed when Quinn pointed out that she could always save a draft in her phone. Rachel had looked put off by her point, and when Quinn turned to look at her she thought that she caught the diva stomping her foot in frustration. She bit her tongue to keep from calling her out on the childish move. There was no need to provoke her further. Instead she sighed and asked the girl, in the most polite voice she could muster, to lead the way.

When they started walking she fell back behind Rachel, Mercedes right behind her.

The auditorium at Carmel was far more impressive than the one at McKinley. That was one of her first observations. It reminded her of the sort she used to see touring plays and musicals at. As a kid her mom used to take her and her sister to see a couple of shows. Carmel's auditorium was obviously not that far up to standards, but it came very close. It was massive and there was a balcony. Which was not the easiest thing to locate in the dimly lit school. It was after hours and it appeared that only Vocal Adrenaline was around. Quinn had not seen anyone on the field for football or at cheerleading practice. Maybe it was strange that the sport activities were the first thing she had looked for. She assumed it was just because she missed being a Cheerio. She could frantically deny it all she wanted, but deep down she ached to wear the uniform again. She missed the sense of power and belonging that went with it.

"If we get caught are we going to have to go to jail?" Quinn asked in a whisper and she followed Rachel to the seats. Her head was down as she tried to avoid being seen. Rachel's only response that stealing their ideas was not illegal. Which would have been a good answer if that was what she was referring to. No, she was considering that maybe they technically could be considered as trespassers.

It took Quinn a moment for her eyes to adjust once they were seated. It was eerie being the only people seated in the house. It was dark, the house lights were dimmed. The stage was far brighter. She would not be able to look at anything else even if she wanted to. The lights onstage seemed especially bright. Jesse had once mentioned that their spotlights were ten times brighter than anything at McKinley. She feared to see those in use if the lights already made her squint.

Then she had to pause because she was thinking about Jesse again. She pulled at her cardigan in discomfort.

Once she managed to get over the lights and the eerie feeling of sitting in the dark (she was seriously waiting for a loud booming voice to announce that they were the Phantom of the Opera), she could focus on Vocal Adrenaline. Except she couldn't see any of their faces. They were covered from head to toe in red lace just like Rachel had said they would be. She could easily see why the store would have been completely out of the fabric.

Next her eyes followed their movements. They weren't even singing, just dancing. They were working on choreography in costume. She glanced toward their choir director and Quinn noticed how displeased she looked. Quinn couldn't imagine why. From what she could see they looked fantastic. Their movements were sharp and precise. Even without vocals they were fantastic. New Directions didn't stand a chance, she realized grimly. Maybe they never did.

But she was brought out of her thoughts by the director halting all of their movement.

Her eyes fell to the center of the group. She had been watching a specific pair since they had entered. They were the best of the group and truly looked like they were trying the hardest. She hardly realized that Rachel was talking about the director's methods. She leaned forward in her seat, intently focused on the pair. He looked like Jesse, his build… oh, but she couldn't see his face!

She jumped a little at Rachel's next comment and watched as the memberes of Vocal Adrenaline moved off stage to make room for their instructor. Her eyes were still glued to the guy's form. Ugh. Why couldn't he just lift the damn veil? He had behaved so much like Jesse. He was so sure of himself… the way he reacted to the director's words…

Quinn fumbled around for her phone, hardly caring about its glare and that Rachel might catch her texting her boyfriend again for the second time.

She quickly sent a hurried text. She couldn't be sure that Jesse even had his phone on him, especially if he actually was one of the guys dressed in red.

_Are you alright? I'm worried._

It sounded a little clingy but she couldn't find it in herself to care. She waited. She listened to the woman's voice with a smile and waited. The movement to her left caused her to turn and in horror she realized that Rachel was standing, her fixed on the stage. It took her another moment to realize that she meant to walk down to it.

"Where are you going?" Mercedes asked with her brows furrowed.

"Get back here!" Quinn hissed in irritation but Rachel kept moving.

Quinn saw a flash of blue white light below just as Rachel neared the front of the stage. She didn't have time to see just who had checked their phone because in that exact moment Rachel spoke and everything seemed to freeze. Shelby Corcoran was Rachel's mom and Quinn noticed the members of Vocal Adrenaline getting antsy in their seats.

"Get down!" Quinn whispered hurriedly and she pulled Mercedes to duck of eyesight just as a group of them turned around.

Mercedes was mumbling under her breath but Quinn didn't hear any of it. She was cursing Rachel mentally. Not only were they now stranded without a ride (because she doubted Rachel would be leaving any time soon) but she had missed her chance. She hoped that the guy hadn't been Jesse, she wished it wasn't. How could it be? He wouldn't do that. But a part of her argued that he most certainly would and Quinn hated to listen to that. She had a feeling that stupid voice in the back of her head was right.

"Come on," she whispered and the pair exited as quietly as they could. After a moment of silence Quinn began to panic.

"I called my dad," Mercedes offered and it was only then that Quinn even remembered Mercedes and her hushed whispering. "He's on his way home from a dental convention and he said he could pick us up. It's on the way home."

"Okay, thanks," she sighed and pulled out her phone, glaring at the screen. No new messages.

They didn't have to wait long. Mr. Jones had arrived after ten minutes. They car ride had been silent and Quinn had politely asked if he could drop her off at the park by Puck's house. It was close to seven. She knew that Emily would be there with the kids. Mr. Jones only agreed after she promised that she had a way home.

The park was dark when she walked up toward the hill. She watched the ground as she moved. She could hear the sound of children laughing but she didn't see a flash of red hair anywhere. When she looked up she was close enough to the bench. She caught sight of a retreating figure. Brown hair… dark clothes.

"Jesse?" Quinn whispered to herself before shouting. "Jesse!"

She thought that she saw the person pause but they kept walking. She wondered if she had actually seen anything at all. She fought the urge to stomp her foot when the man was out of view completely. She walked to the bench instead and sat down. The bench was warm. Her eyes widened and again she looked for the man. Could it really have been Jesse? And if it was why hadn't he turned around?

She heard a giggle and Quinn glanced at the playground. A familiar head of red hair was spotted. The girl looked up and met her gaze before smiling shyly and scampering over to her mother.

"Mommy, Quinn is here," the little girl said quickly and Emily automatically turned.

When Emily finally noticed her she smiled warmly. It was a fond thing to see. It was something that she needed to see. Maybe Jesse didn't want her around but Emily did. Ugh. She was so pathetic. Would she have to beat Jesse out of her head? At this point it seemed highly possible. Instead, Quinn raised a hand and waved with a grin plastered on her face. When Emily walked over, Bonnie hugged her legs tightly for maybe a second before taking off again.

"Where's Jesse?" Emily asked before sitting down next to her and Quinn fought the urge to wince.

"He's sick," she replied flatly.

"Oh really? Poor guy. He must be beating himself up over that." Emily sighed and glanced off toward her kids. Quinn spotted Arthur with other kids she recognized from his soccer team.

"I'm sure." Quinn did cringe then. Her voice sounded so bitter and cold. It was no surprise that Emily caught on quickly.

"What did he do?" She asked and turned her face to look at her.

"I just - I don't know. I have this feeling that he isn't sick. I feel like he's ignoring me and I feel pathetic for feeling hurt because of that. And I'm pretty sure I saw him a couple minutes ago when I walked up to the bench but he didn't reply when I called his name. I feel like some paranoid, clingy girlfriend and I hate it." Quinn shrugged and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You shouldn't. It's normal to feel concerned, Quinn, you do ca-"

"Don't say it," Quinn quickly cut her off. She didn't want to hear what she already knew. Of course Emily only smirked.

"You care about him," she insisted gently.

"I know," Quinn replied quietly. There was a moment of silence and she pursed her lips before sighing. "Can't you just be like a normal friend and insist that he's a jerk and I don't need him?"

"No," she replied softly. "Because I think right now you do need him and you feel that way too. You wouldn't be so upset if you didn't believe it. You want to keep a friend that could be distancing themselves, it makes sense."

"I hate it when you're right." Quinn sighed before looking off toward Arthur. The little blonde was playing a small game of soccer with his team mates. "He's actually pretty good."

"He wants you to come to one of his games. He's very persistent about it actually." Emily laughed under her breath.

"I'd love to go to one," Quinn smiled and waved over to Arthur when he finally looked up.

"He's going to be excited."

Quinn glanced down at her stomach. She could feel the suggestion building in her throat but she couldn't force it out. It wasn't something that she could just blurt out randomly. But it was plaguing her mind. She knew she didn't want to keep the baby. She knew it wouldn't be best for her daughter if she did. But when she thought about adoption she always thought of Emily. She saw how great she was with her kids and Quinn knew she wanted that for the little girl growing inside her. Quinn just knew that she couldn't be able to give her that and she couldn't keep her subconscious from suggesting that maybe Emily could.

But it wasn't the sort of thing asked randomly.

_Oh, hey, Emily, I really like that shirt. How would you feel about adopting my baby?_

Yet, even Quinn understood that trying to wait for a buildup was pointless.

"Can I ask you a question?" Quinn asked rather hesitantly, cutting Emily off just as she was about to speak. "Oh, I'm sorry. Um, you go ahead."

"I just need to tell someone," Emily sighed and Quinn fumbled with her fingers nervously. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" Quinn squeaked and froze. "Ha-have you told Paul?"

"No," Emily shook her head to further her point. "We had talked about having another kid before and he seemed perfectly fine with the two we were raising. He seemed so reluctant to have a third. I'm afraid to tell him."

"That's silly," Quinn smiled and continued gently, "he loves you and he's going to love this baby. I doubt he'll be angry at all."

"I'm just nervous about telling him."

"How long have you known?"

"I took a test last week. I went to see a doctor yesterday to be sure."

"You need to tell him," Quinn urged and pulled her hand lightly. "I don't think you really need to worry about it."

"I hope you're right." Emily whispered with her eyes fixed on her still flat stomach. "I'm sorry, what did you want to ask?"

"Oh," Quinn trailed off. She bit her lip. "I just wanted to know when Arthur's next soccer game was."

"Friday, I think," Emily paused to consider it. "Or maybe it was Saturday… I'll call you later when I know the date for sure."

"Great, thanks."

The rest of the time at the park involved Bonnie bringing Quinn a small daisy. The little redhead crawled onto the bench and tucked it in her hair just where her braid ended. Quinn could only smile and say thank you. But was even more surprising was Bonnie asking her to braid her hair. After a couple of minutes Bonnie took off, the single braided plait hitting her back as she raced to show her older brother. This led to Arthur bringing his soccer ball over and Quinn having to explain that she couldn't play because she wasn't able to see her feet.

With all the childish chaos going on it was fairly easy to hide her disappointment. Emily was a fantastic mother and Quinn knew that deep down the older woman was excited for this new baby. It made Quinn consider whether or not to keep her own child but her decision always remained the same. It would worry her if her daughter didn't find a good family. She'd be lying if she said she didn't lose sleep over it. But she could hardly bring it up now. So she stayed quiet about it. She maintained just the right amount of small talk, politely declined going out for ice cream, and graciously accepted a ride home.

When she walked into the Puckerman residence she caught sight of Puck's mom in the kitchen. She didn't miss the exasperated look she shot her way and she quickly realized what she supposedly did to deserve such a look when she glimpsed the pizza box in her hand. It was then that she remembered Puck had desperately instructed her to eat the rest of her half of the pizza in hopes that his mother wouldn't find out. It became obvious by the ways he violently dumped the left overs in the trash that the bits of bacon had been discovered and she was hardly pleased to see it.

Quinn didn't acknowledge her and that wasn't the mature thing to do but she suspected Puck's mom didn't expect that from her. At least Finn's mom had treated her politely. It was because of pity and disappointment but she was polite about it. Puck's mom always seemed disgusted by the very sight of her and there was only so much she could really take. Quinn wasn't in the mood for a lecture. She didn't need anybody else to berate her about her poor life choices. Or maybe she did but that didn't mean she wanted to hear it. Even if she probably should.

"Hey, Quinn, how did the spying go?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she replied and rolled her eyes in Puck's general direction.

"Did you get caught?" he was sitting in front of the TV frantically firing away.

"Puck! I'll talk to you about it tomorrow okay?"

"Somebody is moody," he grumbled and Quinn contemplated turning around for a minute before deciding against it.

Quinn got up to her room and checked her cell phone. She wasn't surprised to see the lack of messages displayed. No, it wasn't surprising at all. That didn't mean it hurt any less. She could easily remember a time when she'd get multiple requests to get a cup of coffee or go see a movie. Now her phone was almost always silent except for the occasional glee kid reminding her of a rehearsal. It was getting easier to pretend it didn't sting, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Quinn was determined when she dialed Jesse's number. She felt nothing but shock when she heard somebody actually pick up.

"Hello?" she asked while doing her best to shield the surprise in her voice.

"Uh, hi." It was a male voice and they sounded just as bewildered as she felt.

"Is Jesse there?" she asked as the guy seemed to talk to somebody in the background."

"No…" It sounded more like a question than an answer.

"Then why do you have his phone?"

"Well, he is here but he's sleeping."

"So why are you answering his phone?" She could hear the evident suspicion. She was sure he could too.

"I didn't want it to wake him up. He's been sick, you know," he said after she could hear hushed whispering in the background. "I dropped by to bring him some soup or something my mom made. Jesse's mom is like her best friend so she insisted."

"Oh, I see," she sighed into the phone. That was the stupidest excuse she had ever heard.

"I'll tell him you called," he offered with a chuckle.

"Don't bother," Quinn snapped in return. "Just tell him I know what he's doing. In fact, why don't you just put it on speaker? You and I both know he's not asleep and he's having you tell him what I say."

"Look, I don't know why you're so upset but-" Quinn chose to cut him off but noted that his voice didn't sound as clear. She suspected he had actually listened to her. She hoped he did.

"I saw you at the park today and I know what you're doing, Jesse," she repeated. "Or I at least have a pretty good idea. So I hope you're happy. I trusted you. We all did. I hope it was worth it."

She hung up before she could hear the stranger's response. She had planned on leaving a voice mail but somehow it felt more empowering to say it knowing that he was listening. But she supposed that technically she didn't actually know if Jesse was there. She was, however, fairly certain that her assumption was correct.

"I'm such an idiot," she said to herself lightly and laughed in disbelief. The sound made her cringe.

The baby stirred in her stomach and it brought her out of whatever daze she found herself in. The ache in her feet tackled her just as a muscle in her back twitched and she did wince. She sat down, looking up at the ceiling. Such a teenage cliché. She didn't even realize she was falling asleep until the alarm clock woke her up the next morning. She woke up in a clumsy hurry to shut off the alarm, noticing her mused hair and her now wrinkled dress. Her phone had no new messages, to be expected, and she hurriedly plugged it in before moving about to get ready for school. She wasn't prepared to deal with today. Not when they had a performance to do. Her costume was back at the school, something Kurt had offered to make for her given her "condition" but she quickly packed a bag of the suggested make up.

The day was going by slowly, dragging on to the point of it being unbearable. She was falling behind in English again and she wondered how Jesse was fairing with the history homework. They were discussing the business cycle, which really had more to do with Economics, but Quinn didn't complain, just followed along. They had a test at the end of the week. Hopefully he was studying while he was "sick" so that he would be prepared. But then Quinn remembered that she was angry with Jesse and probably should not be acknowledging anything positive. So when Puck showed up at her locker she smiled and greeted him, fully expecting to hopefully have a pleasant conversation to take her mind off of yesterday's events. She almost scoffed in her frustration when Puck blurted out the idea of baby names. Then the pleasantries turned into automatic frustration and annoyance. They had tried discussing baby names once before. It always ended with her arguing that she didn't want to keep the baby so she didn't particularly want to think about naming it.

"You want to name our daughter Jack Daniels? She's a girl!" Quinn exclaimed only a moment after Puck made the suggestion.

"Okay, fine, whatever. Jackie Daniels."

"The name is not the point. I told you this. I'm giving up the baby so I don't have to do this with you." She couldn't hide the irritation in her voice and Puck looked mildly alarmed but she was past the point of caring. "This is good for you. Now you can go off and be a rock star yourself."

Her locked was slammed shut before she turned to walk away.

Quinn probably could have strangled Puck in that moment. Maybe her anger was irrational but she really had not been in the best of moods lately. Puck blamed it on her hormones (as he usually did) when she came home after the park. She had brushed his questions off and walked upstairs before he could do anything about it. She couldn't help but assume that Jesse had been the guy in the middle at the Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal, the guy at the park. She wished it wasn't but that stupid voice in the back of her head was begging her to realize that it was true. That way it wouldn't hurt quite so much when she found out she was right. But even then she knew that it would hurt either way. The phone call helped alleviate some aspects but it didn't entirely lessen the blow.

Instead, she stormed through the halls. It was almost like she was herself again, or rather who she was before the pregnancy. Nobody stood in her way as she made her way to the dressing rooms the theatre department so often used for their productions. She had already made sure her glee costume was hanging up. Her curling iron and makeup were in a bag shoved off in a far corner. When she grabbed it and dumped the contents on the counter she quickly shoved the plug into the socket. Her hands gripped the counters as if to steady herself and she slowly sucked in a breath to calm down. It wasn't really working.

"I just need to focus on this performance," she whispered to herself before nodding. The show goes on after all. That and every other cliché her mind managed to conjure up. It was something that Rachel had constantly tried to tell them. Although, most days nobody noticed what she saying. It came out as a rushed babble with vocabulary that would make any English teacher on campus roll their eyes. But she could understand where the diva was coming from. Quinn didn't want to focus very much on that. She was still angry with Rachel after all.

"You can do this."

Quinn smiled and grabbed at her makeup to begin the transformation.

When she finally managed to finish her makeup was so heavy that it made her eyes water. Although it was possible that the bright feathers hanging from her eye lashes had something to do with it. She brushed that aside as she firmly secured the pink extensions to her hair. Overall she looked absolutely ridiculous, especially in the giant pink frock. She nailed her assignment.

She applied a little more lipstick while she waited for her curling iron to cool down.

Minutes later she was at the door, poking her head out to make sure no one was in the hallway. She was pretty sure part of Schuester's point was to get them to feel comfortable with who they were no matter what they were wearing but it was a little difficult to actually accomplish. So when she realized the hallway was empty she sighed with relief and headed to the choir room, gripping her bag and her prop. With the spikes, the object probably could be considered a weapon. Kurt had found it for her and she was too afraid to ask just where and how he managed to come by it.

She took a seat like she usually did when she entered the room and tucked her bag under the seat.

She didn't feel quite like a social pariah when she was in glee club. If that fact was ever made more noticeable then it would be in this moment that Quinn realized it. Throughout the room sat scattered Gaga look-a-likes. Brittany with a lobster shielding her eyes from view; Santana with a giant bow on top of her head with heels that would have killed Quinn's feet if she had worn them. Mercedes was completely decked out in silver while Tina drew attention with her dress seemingly made out of bubbles. Then there was Kurt, whose glitter mole and perfect replica heels stood out among the rest. Quinn smiled to herself and held up her spikey death trap (as she had so fondly decided to call it) with pride. Berry wasn't there yet but when she exchanged looks with Mercedes it was clear that they didn't know why. The guys weren't entirely sure what to think. Their eyes danced around between each girl as if they were trying to figure out if they should complement them or just look excited or bored. Quinn thought that Jesse would have complimented them for their theatricality if he had been there.

But it was painfully obvious that he wasn't present, not that the rest of the glee club cared. Although, it was a little easier to focus with Mr. Schue applauding them on their outfits, even if Quinn wasn't entirely sure how their costumes expressed them individually.

"Wait, where's Rachel? I mean, I only noticed because like five minutes have gone by without her saying something totally obnoxious," Puck said once they all managed to sit down and Quinn fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"Rachel got some kind of intense news yesterday," Mercedes started before Quinn jumped in.

"We were spying on Vocal Adrenaline and-"

Mr. Schue cut her off. Quinn couldn't even bother to feel frustrated by it. She suspected he would pull something of that sort. He had to act like the proper authority figure that he pretended to be even though deep down he probably would have preferred to maintain his role as their friend and mentor. But his curiosity got the better of him, as Quinn figured it would. He inquired about what they were working on, as he rightfully should have. If he wanted them to win at Regionals, he was right to wanting to know what the competition was up to. Sue had done it time after time and, quite frankly, she thought Mr. Schue was an idiot for not asking earlier. A competition was still a competition.

That was the moment of the unveiling. There was no awkward silence as Quinn had envisioned. Instead she found herself nodding after Mercedes spoke and feeling less than overcome by the immediate reaction. There was brief shock, followed by unbelief, followed by paranoia. She could not deny that she had been guilty of such thoughts. It made sense for Rachel to jump over to Vocal Adrenaline. She often spoke of lack of appreciation her voice received and even Quinn knew that Vocal Adrenaline would be Rachel's chance to shine. To her, their paranoia seemed completely justified. She could see it happened. But of course Rachel herself would be the one to squash all of their doubts, making her grand entrance once the conversation picked up. Her denial was overshadowed by her hideous outfit and Quinn fought the urge to laugh.

A dress made of stuffed animals, now that was just lovely. There was no polite way to comment on her choice of costume so Quinn decided to remain silent, staring down at her feet (even if she couldn't really see them) until it was time to perform. And perform they did. Quinn managed to completely lose herself in the performance, something she really hadn't done since "Keep Holding On". It was a welcome change. Quinn made a mental note to try and focus on music more often. The time after the performance was something different entirely.

Santana and Brittany headed off to do whatever it is they did. Quinn had her suspicions but chose to never vocalize them. Mercedes was kind enough to invite Quinn and Rachel to have dinner and watch a movie at her house but both girls politely declined. Quinn figured Rachel wanted to talk to her mom and Quinn just really wanted to get home and sleep. Or read a book or do homework or something. But more than anything she wanted to shut her brain off. Because as she glanced over at Rachel all she could really think about was Jesse and she wanted be rid of him so much that it was painful. He was acting like a douche. But she couldn't help but be concerned, even with what happened with the phone call the night before.

"Rachel?" Quinn hesitated just before speaking. She and the brunette were the only two left in the room. Rachel was staring off to space while Quinn was in the process of wiping her makeup off. She had changed directly after their performance. Rachel, however, was still in her hideous stuffed animal dress. Apparently she had also gone deaf.

"Rachel?" She tried again a little louder. Quinn sighed with irritation. "Hey, man hands, can you listen to me for two seconds please?"

"There was no need for that hurtful name, Quinn. I heard you."

"Well, you didn't answer so I said what I figured would catch your attention," Quinn quickly refuted with a shrug. "It worked obviously."

"Did you ever stop to consider the option that perhaps I just don't feel up to indulging in meaningless small talk with you?" Rachel replied with a pointed look and Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Nope. But now that you've answered me you might as well hear me out," Quinn smiled and wiped at her cheeks before plucking off the distractingly long lashes. "Have you heard from Jesse?"

"Quinn, you've asked me this already. I told you, he's sick. Frankly, you're coming off as a clingy girlfriend and I don't appreciate how concerned you seem to be with _my boyfriend_."

"Relax, treasure trail, we're just friends. Though I suppose now you know what it feels like." Quinn fired back after wiping the last bit of makeup off. The towelette was flung into the garbage.

"What, what feels like?" Rachel asked, glancing up curiously.

"To be worried about your boyfriend." Quinn turned to look directly at her. "To feel threatened and worry that his interest might be wavering."

"W-what do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean." Quinn moved so that she was less than a foot away from the girl. She was looking down at her, she needed to be in control of this situation. "Rachel, in this equation, Jesse is Finn."

Quinn turned on her heel and walked to the door before pausing. Rachel remained uncharacteristically silent. She glanced over her shoulder, her fingers gripping the door.

"What sort of boyfriend would he be to completely ignore his girlfriend? Something is wrong, Rachel. It's not right. He's been MIA and if I were you, I'd be worried. He's either on his death bed or plotting something."

Quinn was gone after that, letting the door close gently behind her.

It didn't open again until the next day and she was lost in the bizarre routine all over again. It seemed like karma was at her back because she was left to get ready with Rachel in the room. Her hideous animal dress was out of sight but the diva was dressed in the outfit she wore to school. Quinn just shrugged it off and continued to get ready, painting on the new face that Gaga would prance around in. She didn't like all that makeup. It made her eyes water and her skin felt pasty as if it had been smothered in glue. The dress was itchy and the pointy death trap was heavy. But Quinn didn't feel up to complaining and sucked it up, leaving before she got the chance to see Rachel's outfit. But she saw it later when Rachel pranced around in it before the KISS performance. Which, Quinn had to admit, she was pleasantly surprised to see. They were far more theatrical compared to what Quinn had been expecting.

They were even wearing more makeup than she was.

So it was strange to see them return to the classroom with their faces bare while the rest of the girls were still in costume. Quinn was leaning over and chatting with Brittany, trying to keep up some form of conversation and failing. The girl was so difficult to talk to and she kept going on and on about her cat and his addiction to stealing all her Cheese-Itz. It was an understatement to say she was surprised when Puck moved to stand at the center of the room. Overwhelming might have been a better word, but Quinn was always taught to maintain her composure and that's what she tried to do even as it grew increasingly difficult. His speech was enough to make her tear up but once he got into the song itself she knew she was crying.

There was something about Puck that kept her coming back. She suspected it had everything to do with the side of him he rarely showed to the rest of the people at McKinley. What he was showing right now in front of the glee club. He seemed so vulnerable up there at the front of the choir room. His eyes were focused only on her. Even when Finn began singing his brief part (and it Quinn only later realized that the lyrics in question were directed at Kurt) she held eye contact with Puck.

It was only when his face began to drift out of focus that she realized she was even crying. She would have loved to blame her hormones for her tears. She probably could have gotten away with blaming her heavy makeup and fake eyelashes but she held back. She'd be lying to herself. She cared for Puck. Sometimes, like now, he made it hard not to.

"I know you're giving her up but before you do, I think you should name her Beth. If you'll let me, I'd really like to be there when she's born. I'd really like to meet her." After he finished, she nodded. Because in that moment she would have promised him anything.

Instead, they all went to Kurt's rescue. They had all received their fair amount of bullying. Standing up for Kurt, in a way, was like standing up for themselves. Even if they were shot down, called freaks, it was something. And Quinn herself was near blissfully happy.

At least she was until she remembered Jesse.

* * *

Don't forget to review! I love reading all of your feedback!


	10. Author's Note

I owe you all so much more than this, I really do, but I don't want to keep you waiting for something I can't pin a date on.

So, until further notice, this story is being put on hiatus.

I apologize and do honestly hope that I can update again soon. But I haven't felt inspired for this story in a long time. In some way I'd like to blame Glee for it, because I can tell you now I'm only watching for Damian, but that would be placing on the blame on a show rather than on myself.

And it is my fault.

Hopefully when Groff comes back that will spark something. Jesse's return inspired me last time, no matter how brief that return was.

I can tell you that I will not update this story again until I have it completed. It's a shame that there are only two chapters left, but those two chapters are going to be the death of me.

Again, I apologize for the lack of updates and for putting the story on hold.

I hope you all will choose to read it again when I finally add the last chapters, whenever that may be.


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